I want to run away

[Acorn2]

I feel like I have no one and that’s not true at all. I know I have friends and family that do love and care about me but why is my life like this. Why did it turn sideways. I keep thinking I’ll be better if I were to move to a new city or state, that’s all I’ve been thinking lately. I feel embarrassed because I haven’t told my loved ones what’s been going on, only all of you know how I really feel and it’s a relief to just let it out. But I’m scared of what my thoughts will turn into, therapy isn’t helping, moving away didn’t help. I know there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m glad that I feel confident enough to know that about myself.

[Sparsley32]

Depression really does have a way of stripping you of feeling worthy of any type of love or comfort. I think you have to really retrain your brain to help get your focus away from thinking that way. Depression can really take a toll especially when you are experiencing ongoing depression. I hope that you can find the remedy to help you. Praying for you.

[Darkhouse]

Depression is a thief that lives inside our minds. It fills our heads w lies that seem so true, but they are lies. The "You're not good enough" "You're a looser" "No one will ever love you" all of those things it yells... There all lies. That voice can seem so real though. It can be really tough when you're surrounded by people that love you but just don't understand it... I totally get that feeling. We get it here!! You are not alone, and you are not what depression tells you. I'm sorry therapy isn't working. Can you try someone else? It often takes a few people until you find someone you jive w. Have you tried medications? They help a lot of peeps too, me included... Hang in there, there is hope...

[Midori]

Ooh, Acorn, there is one thing you cannot run away from, and that is Yourself.

We all have two brains, the rational, thinking one; and the primitive on which acts on instinct and our Fight, Flight or Freeze instinct. This primitive brain can take over when we are depressed.

For me, it was the seat of the 'inner Critic', the one who told me I was useless and no good for anything, which kept me paralysed with indecision for years. I finally got control by losing my temper with myself, having a big tantrum , and telling the inner Critic to do one!

I turned the air blue, cussing it out and telling it to go away (not so politely!) It left me alone for a week, so when it tried to come back, I gave it another blast, and so on every time it tried to come back! It eventually left me, and now I only ever get it when faced with my computer packing up on me! Luckily, I have my son who can sort that out!

I found getting angry very therapeutic, as my problem had been a very abusive husband, who as a last act of defiance, committed suicide rather than face a divorce. It was good to take back control, as there were two small children who depended on me, and I had to sort it out for their sakes.

Cheers, Midori