Starting to catastrophize about my life falling apart because of a simple conversation with my husband

[applesauce10]

My emotional stability is supported only by a single thread. I've been thankfully positive these days due to starting some educational courses soon and getting involved in some charity work. Mostly the latter. I'm an immigrant with no friends and nothing to do without a work permit and it was driving me crazy. Everyday I wanted to leave to my home country or do something worse. I joined a group of people who were similarly situated and had started a small charitable activity that gives us a chance to hang out and talk about our struggles while feeling like we're making a small difference in the world.

When I start my course however, the two schedules will conflict. My first thought was to miss a few classes here and there to show my face at the group and get updates when I can. I was reprimanded by my partner for this saying I can't have my cake and eat it to, I have to give up this group, I'll make new friends later, everyone leaves things behind to fulfill their responsibilities, doing what we do won't get me anywhere in life, etc.

I was excited for the course before I was told there should be a hard choice between the only thing that keeps me going at present and something that will open doors for my future. Of course I'd choose my future but I worry that taking way this support system will cause my mental health to slip back out of control and I'll drop out or fail the class anyway. Just like I've dropped out of everything else in my life.

I want to say that the right thing for me is to keep participating in the group the best I can based on the number of days I'm allowed to miss. But I also see how convoluted and catastrophizing it is to say that NOT skipping classes with cause me to fail the course. My judgement could also be clouded by the fact that my partner has both a job and a tight knit social circle that he talk to every day, often during work hours. It feels to me like he's also getting his cake and eating it too and I don't blame him, I want him to be happy. But I'm wrong about so many things these days I could be wrong about this too.

I don't want to go back to feeling like I have no one and nothing to look forward to outside of my partner. I'm Already getting chest pains thinking about the loneliness.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi Apple, My advise is to take the class, don't skip. you will fall behind. Hopefully you can make a friend or two in class. You don't have to give up your group/friends. A semester is not that long. You could get phone numbers of the people in the group so you can have that contact, talk about what they are doing. Jump back in after the semester and you can share your experience in class at group. You too can have your cake and eat it. Education can make you more curious and more interesting.

[Kelkel00]

You absolutely deserve to have your friends plus do your educational course. I think it’s absurd for your husbands to say you can’t have both. You may have to get creative with the friends and when you get together with them, but you most certainly should not have to sacrifice one for the other!

[Curry223]

my mother always told me if you need a break, take a break. I know that’s cliché but you might have too much going on in your life and it’s making you exhausted.

Take some time for yourself!

Every little things is gonna be alright

[Midori]

Don't skip the classes, they are essential to your future, if the classes are on regular days, let your friends know you can't make the charity those days because of it clashing. Get together on the other days, that way you can get the best of both.

Cheers, Midori