I m 45plus and Feeling not very good. I don't know why i have been to these traumatic episode that has changed my personality. I don't feel like i was in school university or at least at the start of my career.
Now i don't feel very enthusiastic, creative, one who takes lot of risk, secure. Insecurity for economy/money has always been with me even if i m earning well.
Those who are depressed can share if they feel the same way.
Depression can zap you. It isn't that your personality changed, it is that your personality has to cope with the depression. How we all do and deal with this is different by person. Yes, I think it is normal to feel that you have become totally different. I have been isolating the past few months sitting on a medical diagnosis. I can't even talk to my parents about it. My kids have go see me go through it. It is chilling and depressing as ever to know that my life is limited. I will get more sick over time. I haven't responded to texts, not answered calls, faked it as best I could for the holidays here in the US. While this is a bit freeing, my therapist had to make me face the reality that I was self isolating and not dealing. I used to be super type A with my career, a super star mom, life of the party and was gifted the ability to be athletic in all things. Once my health was gone and it was confirmed by several doctors, I just went mentally missing. Numb. Tired. Afraid. Not myself. Depression transforms you, but don't let it define you. Just yesterday, I realized I hadn't left the house in a week. All my Drs appts seemed to be Telehealth. I went to pick up a prescription and it was the hardest thing I have done in so long. It was like I couldn't communicate with the staff. I am fine at Drs offices as I know the drill and know why I'm there. I last minute cancelled chaperoning a field trip for my daughter because I didn't think I knew how to talk to normal adults. However, deep down in there, I am still all of those things. I hope my kids get all the good qualities and not the bad. It's a work in progress. I just need to find the woman that was fearless. I am have way far to go....and that is a realization that was hard to get to. I must get out today for two appointments and am planning a nice family dinner tonight. My first goal is trying to be myself at home! I wish you luck and am happy to support if needed.
I'm commenting to myself. BAD GIRL-I didn't make it out today.
No need to say yourself bad girl in this forum. At least i can understand u, i mean i m not the one who is normal and above normal. I m also struggling with all this thru my life so i can understand it was very tough for you and you missed it. Hopefully you will make the next appointment for your wellbeing and ur kids wellbeing.
Good evening,
I am sorry that you are feeling so depressed. I hope that you don't mind if I pray for you?
Dear Heavenly Father,
How, I praise you! Thank you, for being Lord and God of all! Thank you for your great love!
Forgive me Jesus, for all of sins, please cleanse me and wash them all away.
Father, I want to pray in the power of Jesus name, take up this depression and toss it away and replace it with energy ,and encouragement, positive reinforcement, peace, and your loving presence... In Jesus Precious name, Amen
Slowly losing faith again…
Tension headaches 
Struggling with medication
i do not want to be a mom. 
