has anyone felt like this I feel like I’m losing my self and I’m scared

[Loui815]

When I think about things I think about everything that could go wrong -I wake up feeling worried like there’s something wrong but there’s not -I feel emotionally numb most the time -I feel less motivated and drive to do things and I was the total opposite before -I used to have horrible depression and now I have no depression at all -I’m really sleepy during the day I have derealization or depersonalization sometimes if I have to think hard about something I have brain farts If it’s to quite I get ringing in my ears and I start to get anxiety -when I think about the past or times when I was a kid I get anxiety -as a kid I remember having derealization but it would only last a few seconds and it would only happen like 2 times a year -I feel bad for my self sometimes I used to get sad but know I get anxiety.-I get so frustrated feeling like this I want to cry but I can’t I get scared and get anxiety because I think all of this is gonna turn to schizophrenia or a horrible mental disorder or even lose all my memory When this first started I had horrible nightmares that felt really real The day I believe it started was a night where I could not fall asleep and there was about 100 thoughts running through my head and the more I thought about it the worse it got I believe I had a panic attack that night and went to the hospital I also get anxiety cuz I get scared I’m gonna be stuck like this forever I question reality sometimes I also get anxiety when I question my self what is the purpose of life and feel like I don’t have a purpose As a kid and through high school I was very quite I was scared to speak but if I had to I would I was pretty much antisocial also at a younger age I hated going to school I would get shaky, have cold sweats and nausea , it was also hard for me to pay attention cuz I was always thinking of other things I still feel like I kinda struggle with that I feel most normal when I’m with friends and keep my self out of my mind

[Mxtmxxn]

Hey Louis, it's a very common theme to feel like you're "going crazy" or feel like something wrong is going to happen when you have anxiety/depression. I've been through the same steps as you thinking that it's something that is going to develop into something scarier or that it already has. Depersonalization/Derealization is a way the mind/body tries to protect itself from stressors in your daily life.

I recommend you talk to a friend or a loved one besides us about how you're feeling and try to see if you can get into therapy or behavioral health in your local community which can provide mental health help and counseling, usually state funded departments help doesn't require you to pay anything.

I'm glad you hospitalized yourself even if it was just at the ER for anxiety. Sometimes it can be too much for someone that it just needed to happen, good job in doing that!