#f*ckanxiety

[booksoverpeople]

today i’m feeling better than i did yesterday, i started medication for my anxiety and depression yesterday morning. if you have read my last post, taking medication was a big trigger for my anxiety, it made me panic about the side effects, because the side effect were a trigger as well to my anxiety. i wish anxiety was something we all could snap our fingers and it would disappear into thin air but we aren’t that lucky. anxiety is in every one of us sadly and we all experience it in different ways. why i’m saying this is i’m jealous of people who don’t have anxiety or what i meant is have anxiety but doesn’t let it consume them. i have friends very good friends, who have anxiety about normal things like a big exam coming, an interview, or a big sports game and they don’t panic like i do, i feel like they just get the heart racing feeling but not the other feelings. the thing is when i have anxiety about these types of things they do i don’t fear how well i’ll do on a test, how the interview will go, or how i’ll play i’m worried about how i’ll feel during these times, like if i will be nervous at this place, how i will feel like if i will be sick or what. so i tend to isolate myself sometimes from places that make me feel afraid of being afraid lol. like i won’t go out with friends sometimes, i won’t leave my room, and just stay inside for days or just hours. the little things that don’t matte make me afraid and anxious like feeling sick, not feeling okay, makes me body go into full blown panic and feel worse. it just feels like when i have anxiety anytime it consumes me, it makes me silent, shaky, sick, lost appetite, and just very afraid and everyone else can take a deep breath and be okay, can close their eyes and be okay, for me i cannot do those simple things to make me okay. i have found ways to distract like talking to friends on text, playing games on my phone, or reading books but these things don’t always help all the time which i don’t like. i hate that anxiety makes me feel this way, but i’m glad after my last post i see people who are experiencing what i am, and that i’m glad i’m not alone because that how i felt with my friends, i felt alone not because they don’t support me, but because they don’t experience this how i do. it made me feel weak that i let these things consume me. the other day i saw this post on instagram, i’m going to add it to this post if i can, it’s something all of need to here. because we cannot be embarrassed by what we feel and experience, the strongest warriors always have the toughest battles!

[Penny-dumped-Leonard]

I can assure you my GI tract is shedding like a snake. It ain’t birth. just feels like it.

[Hidden]

”Our surrender has to be genuine …”

Love that👍