Agoraphobia

[maddypaddy69]

What has worked for you? I know that I must go out, exposure, desensitized, breathing, etc. But it is a huge challenge everyday. Taking small dose of alazapram helps but do not want to rely on it. What works for you??? Thx so much for replies!

[Agora1]

Hi maddypaddy69, yes it is such a huge challenge.

After having Agoraphobia for 5 years, enough was enough for me to take action.

Was on small dosage of benzos but then too tired and out of it to even want to get

out. I started searching YouTube for other alternatives. I wasn't going to give up until

I found methods/tools that worked. Not overnight, since I had been stuck for a long time.

I found Meditation/Breathing, Self-Hypnosis, Biofeedback, Relaxation Techniques,

Mindfulness, Affirmation Techniques, Visualization Techniques, Acceptance of Anxiety,

and just a lot of will power in going forward. I turned to YouTube as a teaching tool, filling

my mind with Positive Thinking. Re-training my mind through Meditation each night before

bed and upon awakening. Anytime a thought of fear came along, I mentally tossed it away.

It's been years of my retraining my mind especially my subconscious mind and I won.

I'm here now to support others going through the same thing I once did.

Now it's no longer fear of going out and driving again. Now the cost of gas prices as well

as the economy costs that are the issue. But at last I am free. My best to you xx

[maddypaddy69 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it. I took classes for this issue in the 90's and they really helped. Somehow it came back again. I force myself to at least drive a few blocks everyday. It is a struggle everyday, but even though I feel like giving up, I will not. I have an appt with a therapist who deals with this issue in January. I am reading books, YouTube, breathing techniques, etc. I know staying home is not the answer, so gotta keep going out, baby steps, and whatever it takes! Thx again for your reply. It helps me to see that I can get better, and happy you are! Face the fear and it will disappear (eventually)

[Agora1 in reply to maddypaddy69]

You know where I went on my first trip out after 5 years?? The Dollar Tree lol

After months of practicing baby steps in getting out and driving again, I decided the

day had come to test my progress. I listened to a relaxation tape while driving there.

Walked to the store a little apprehensive but as soon as I got in, it was like nothing

had changed. I felt a familiar feeling of calm come over. Took a cart to hang onto and

off I went up and down the aisles planning to just spend a few minutes the first time.

Well an hour and an half later, I walked out of the store, bags in hand containing

all my new little treasures that I found. Happy as a clam, I drove home.

When the time is right maddy, it will happen for you as well. I'm always here to

support you. I care xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Loved your reply Agora1!! I’m doing the same thing with baby steps. Going out a little at a time seems to be working, albeit slowly, but it’s never quite as bad as I imagine it’s going to be.😊

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Isn't that the truth. The anticipational anxiety is always worse than the trip

itself which goes off flawlessly. You're doing good...Baby steps is the way xx

[QuietGreen]

I understand and can relate. I was frightened to step outside for some time and remained completely inside for the summer in between semesters when I was going to school. When the summer ended and I had to go back to school, I sobbed and I was uncertain about my ability to continue my studies. I cried the entire drive to school and I stayed in the parking lot for hours working up the courage to go to class.

Meditation, therapy, mindfulness, patience and a commitment to healing are what got me through the hardest times. I have found that listening to podcasts on happiness, stoicism, and neuroscience are helpful for me. I stumbled upon the work of Dr. Jud Brewer while searching for a meditation on the free app Insight Timer.

I have made tremendous progress towards my own healing. I wish you the best on your journey and know that you are not alone in these feelings. Celebrate your victories, however small they may seem, and practice loving kindness for yourself during times of struggle.

I hope one of these suggestions leads you to additional resources for your own recovery. I didn't think I would be where I am now. Never give up. I'm cheering for you.

[Agora1 in reply to QuietGreen]

I'm proud of you QuietGreen You've got this xx

[Figgins42]

And what is wrong with "relying" on alaprozam? It exists for people like you and me. I grow weary of people bashing Benzos like Xanax and Valium. They do exist for a reason and would help with agoraphobia and anxiety if taken in conjunction with SSRIs and other companion meds. Yes you get dependent on them but so what? You want to live your life utterly crippled by anxiety because you don't want to take a medication that would assist in reducing the anxiety that doesn't allow you to live or leave your house? I am a benzo dependent individual because I NEED them. I don't abuse them. My doctor trusts me and acknowledges I need diazepam. Don't ever listen to a doctor who doesn't want you to take them. I hope you start feeling better and I also hope you'll be open to meds. Often there is no other choice in severely phobic minds. Best to you.

[Agora1 in reply to Figgins42]

Figgins42, there is nothing wrong in taking benzos. I wouldn't be where I am

had I not. But I was on Xanax for 30 years and it no longer worked. Doctor tried

other benzos but nothing worked any longer it was time for me to move on.

I was weaned off benzos and put on Lexapro and that's when my life started

changing for the good.

Benzos and therapy were the help I needed at the time. I don't regret a moment

of that. It's all about what works for each of us at the time in allowing us to function

each day and not just stay stuck.

I definitely am not anti medication. It was just time for me to go into Phase 2.

I wish you all the best in your journey with Anxiety. One foot in front of the other

is our goal. My best to you. xx

[fauxartist in reply to Agora1]

Great response Agora... i love your diplomacy and kindness... your a good egg.

[Agora1 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you fauxartist x your response actually brought tears to my eyes. xx

[fauxartist in reply to Agora1]

I have always admired your sincerity my friend, in a world that often falls short on, it's important to have someone who cares...you don't judge, you are simply kind.

[Agora1 in reply to fauxartist]

xx

[fauxartist in reply to Agora1]

Have a safe and happy holidays my friend, we all hope for peace on earth.

[Agora1 in reply to fauxartist]

I wish you the same my friend. I always remind myself that nothing

matters if we don't have Peace on Earth. With love, Agora1 xx

[maddypaddy69 in reply to Figgins42]

Thank you, 😊

[dianaluz45781073]

A good dose of enthusiasm is necessary every day, with discipline and dedication you can get ahead.

[shawshankredemention]

I know how you feel. There were days I couldn't get out of bed. Therapy, Medication and I really liked this book. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook Paperback – May 1, 2020

by Edmund J. Bourne PhD (Author).

When you are feeling well, write affirmations to yourself. Also, I think of agoraphobia as the flu, it will pass. When I am in the middle of a panic attack, I tell myself it will pass and it always does. Finally, don't put too much on your mind at one time. Focus on the next step. 1st. Get of out bed. 2nd Shower, 3rd, Eat, Don't think about all the things you have to do for the day, it will seem overwhelming. Just focus on the next thing.

[Spooky99]

I suffered with this years ago. I self medicated with alcohol. It was horrific. I finally got on the right meds and have been somewhat free for decades! I’m 55. I was in my 20’s with little children!!! I’m in recovery for alcohol. Therapy didn’t help. I’m glad your doing the right things! I am hooked on benzos. I wouldn’t get out the door without them, and at my age.. I don’t care lol. In my 20’s it was never heard of and I think people thought I was crazy. ( I did too) Agoraphobia is no joke! Don’t let it get you!! I do a lot of praying 🙏 hugs to you!

[designguy]

What helped me was learning what anxiety really is and that i had been letting the sensations and thoughts fool me into believing they were real when the truth is that they are just our body's builtin warning system malfunctioning. For me, the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos helped and committing myself to healing and doing the exposure therapy. Once I realized there wasn't really something wrong with me and that it was just a misunderstanding on my part about anxiety, it made it easier to go out in public and do exposure therapy and force myself to tolerate the uncomfortable sensations. I would even try to make the sensations even greater and last longer and even do things that use to totally embarrass me like dressing in old clothes or bumping into things or people just to provoke my anxiety even further and assure myself that I was ok. It took time and multiple exposures and determination to desensitize myself, but i figured if someone else can do it I could do it too.

[maddypaddy69 in reply to designguy]

Thank you so much for your reply. It is very great to hear from people who understand because they have been there. And to know that it can be overcome with exposure and knowledge about this. I went out driving today, about 10 miles and used positive self talk, thought substitution, etc. Can see that time of day affects me too. But make myself get out everyday, no matter what. I tell myself that I can always go home if I want, but get out again later or the next day. Desensetizing really works, but it is work. Write down every victory no matter how small!

[designguy in reply to maddypaddy69]

You're welcome and great job going out! Making a commitment and going out everyday is a great thing to do and don't let yourself talk you out of doing it. Know that it is really common to have setbacks, if you haven't already and it's possible your anxiety will get more intense before it dissolves because it takes time to convince your inner child that you really are safe and it's good to do what you can to feel it in your body. I spent a number of times white-knuckling it to ride out the anxiety/panic but knew it was part of the healing process. One of the things you might check out and see if it fits you is perfectionism. A lot of us with anxiety/etc.. are perfectionists and developed it as a self-protection/defense strategy but it can cause or contribute to anxiety. I had it and it was why I was so concerned about making fool of myself in public so as part of my recovery I purposely did things to provoke that part of myself, like wearing old mismatched clothes. You can find info on youtube about it if you think it might be part of your issue.

Also making note of your wins is big and allowing yourself to feel great and even celebrating them is really helpful. We have to learn to validate ourselves and be proud of ourselves and this is a great way to do it. Keep going, you're doing great!

[maddypaddy69 in reply to designguy]

Thanks for your support, muchly appreciated! Yep, on the perfectionism, and not caring what people think is being worked on always. There is no magic wand to get over this or I would have bought one! Constant and repeated exposure, sometimes baby steps, is the way to go, I think.

[designguy in reply to maddypaddy69]

You're right and persistence is the key. That is one of the main reasons that after I got to feel slightly more comfortable that I then started doing whatever I could to provoke my anxiety and uncomfortableness so I could heal further and lean into the fear as much as I could and for as long as I could. I still occasionally have some anxiety and anxious thinking but it doesn't last long. The other thing is to be kind and compassionate with yourself which it sounds like you are already doing which is great.

[maddypaddy69 in reply to designguy]

No one wants to feel uncomfortable, but that is what has to be done in order to get better. I know it can be scary, but knowing that repetition will get rid of that feeling, is why I do my best to keep going and sometimes, retreat and go again. Anyway. I am out there trying, everyday. Has exercising helped you? Reading about adrenaline and how exercise can really help squish that down.

[designguy in reply to maddypaddy69]

Yes, exercising can help, I try to walk a mile or two a day. Another really good skill is practicing simple mindfulness/meditation to calm down, center yourself and just let the thoughts come and go without being attached to them. it's a good way to realize your anxious thoughts can come and go and not have any power over you.

[maddypaddy69 in reply to designguy]

Thank you, all good advice!