good afternoon from the UK. Decided to give this a try as sometimes the best people to talk to are the people going through it.

[StrSailr]

Anxiety has always been part of my life, some days it’s just a tingle, but others the voice gets louder. I tend to be busy through week so it’s just a tingle mostly, unless I have something stressful on at work, but I tend to weather this well. My reward is beers on a Friday and that keeps the anxiety silent; however the next day it’s elevated so I’ll pop to the bar and do what did on Friday, except it doesn’t work as well. Come Sunday I feel horrendous and I either try to silence the voice or listen to it and suffer. Monday comes and I just get on with work and eventually Monday night the voice is starting to quieten down. Come Friday I want that good feeling back and so the cycle continues. Has anyone else done this / do this?

[LifeIsThePitts]

Yes, sir...yep that's me🙋100%. I self medicated by using drugs, food, exercise, compulsive 🛒🛍️ shopping, over eating, under eating, over sleeping...all typical avoidance and poor coping strategies of poorly treated, under treated and untreated mental health challenges. My history of ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), Panic disorder, PTSD, childhood trauma and sexual abuse have contributed to 48 years of horribly untreated mental health symptoms until I reached severe suicidal ideation last Jan and had no choice but to pay out of pocket $7700 for serious depression and anxiety (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) treatment or I am certain I wouldn't be here today...no question!

Our 🧠 brain is sending us signs of poor health. Trying to tell you that things are not going well and we need help. We try to cover up the symptoms with poor escape routes that are temporary fixes but they're usually unhealthy outlets. Even some of my "healthy" outlets became unhealthy obsessions while I was running away from my past traumas and psychological diagnoses before I had help.

For anxiety guidance I listen to Dennis Simsek The Anxiety Guy on YouTube. He's an awesome teacher for dealing with anxiety. I have a couple of his books 📚 too!! I've been listening to him almost daily for the last 5-6 months. Ten percent happier with Dan Harris and the one you feed with Eric Zimmer are 2 other podcasts that have helped me tremendously.

The 2 things that have improved my mental state the most are removing added sugars from my diet (it's been almost 6 months), eating 90% organic whole foods, and committing to a regular exercise routine 5 days a week. I know it's totally cliche, we've heard it before. But it is true.

You are correct in assessing that you keep going through the same destructive "cycle" and it's losing its effectiveness. This will only continue to spiral into the darkness. You already feel yourself sinking, that's why you're here. I've been where you are and it gets worse until you find SOMETHING that speaks to your soul and gets you to address what you're avoiding and running from. That can only come from WITHIN. Nothing EXTERNAL will heal you or eliminate your pain. Only YOU can heal YOU. That's the secret, my friend 🤫🤭💐❤️‍🩹

[StrSailr in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

wow thanks for that. I lost my dad to suicide when I was 18 and keep that at bay most of the time. It’s more my life change, my son is 18 and don’t see him anywhere near as much as I used to. Suppose it’s easy to hide the loneliness, I’ve friends but tend to try and deal with things alone, as that’s what I’ve always done. Take yesterday and today for example, work has kept me busy and I wouldn’t even contemplate having a beer… not at all, but the whisper is quiet in my ear. It’s the cycle i’m in I need to break. I wouldn’t let things get so dark as to do anything, but at same time i’m frustrated with how I feel on a Sunday / Monday as it’s horrid. Thank you for your response as it’s good to know it’s not just me.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to StrSailr]

So sorry for the loss of your dad. That shapes you forever. Know that You are in good company here. Having your son moving into adulthood can be disorienting and off putting for your life, too. Big dynamic shifts in your life's responsibilities. The more you reach out the more you'll find that you are definitely NOT ALONE 😉 that's the #1thing I learned here FAST. All the time we feel like we're suffering in silence all by ourselves, it's not true. Everyone here has felt the same way. We support everyone cuz we ARE everyone.💐

[Stippler in reply to StrSailr]

Hello StrSailr - I lost my Dad to suicide when I was 2 years old. I never got to know him. Have you ever been to any 12 step meetings? There are many good people there who can help. AA is good for stopping drinking, but they can also help in many other aspects of life - and not just drinking. There are good people here on this forum also. Anxiety can be bad for me, but it was often aggravated by substance use. I would also like to suggest that you spare yourself the trouble that some of the anxiety meds can cause. If you go to a psychiatrist, they can prescribe helpful medications, but some of the anxiety medications can be addictive and can sometimes make the anxiety and depression much worse over the long haul. I would discuss this with the doctor, and let them decide what is best. Anyway, I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

[LifeIsThePitts]

Holy cow...you just joined TODAY! Kudos to you for your 🥇 first post🤗 Welcome to the forum. This is a great place for information and support. So glad to meet you.

[Agora1]

Hi StrSailr, Welcome to a great support site. Unfortunately, as you have found,

reaching for instant gratification on the weekends is not the answer. The trade off

might not be worth the hangover. Like any other habit*mine being a Chocoholic, I

understand how difficult it is to break a habit that comes automatically, without

thinking. We reach, we indulge and then suffer in the end.

Oh it feels great to leave anxious moments aside but it isn't a permanent fix.

As you continue on your journey with this site, you will see that you are not alone

and will find other ways to cope with anxiety/stress. Happy to have you here xx

[StrSailr in reply to Agora1]

thanks for taking the time out to message. It’s nice to see so many people in the same situation or being in it…nice when people can relate. I tend to start tomorrow night when finish work and feel great, but then goes down hill after that. I might try some no alcohol beer tomorrow, so as to still have a drink but without the consequences x