Looking for support

[Miagirl82]

I’ve been dealing for a long time with Major depression, anxiety, PTSD and personality disorder. I can’t explain how much my life has changed and how I feel so incapable of doing anything. I haven’t work for two years because of this and other medical conditions. Obviously this is hurting me a lot because my finances have never been so bad. I just don’t know if I’m capable of dealing with other people that might see me fluster or hyperventilating because of anxiety. Or see my mood swings and make it obvious to everyone or just simply scared from getting fired once again because I can’t control what’s happening or how I’m feeling or even if my legs will be working fine. How do I get back to life.

[silentdreamer20]

Hey! I understand how you're feeling. Maybe not fully, because I don't know everything, but a good bit. I haven't been able to work for about 6 years now. I have multiple health conditions, but when the seizures started I was incapable of driving and incapable of doing my job at that moment. I also have PTSD. I recently started therapy and got on meds for that. Thankfully, it's starting to help. I keep talking about getting my license back, but my anxiety is so bad, I'm honestly terrified of failure and being judged because I have to retest. I used to be a "social butterfly", but now I have social anxiety because being chronically ill leads to not going out much anymore and you don't see a lot of people, now I don't know how to be around people. I constantly feel judged. I know I'm not being judged, but it doesn't change how I feel. I'm learning I have to do things one day at a time. I have to look at today, not yesterday or tomorrow. Otherwise, I will lose control. It took a lot of work on myself to get go this point, and sometimes I still obsess about tomorrow, the day after, the upcoming week. I also understand about medical debt. It isn't easy being ill. But we have to take baby steps. One at a time. And find someone to talk to who will help remind us to continue taking those baby steps. Eventually, those baby steps will become strides. ❤️ we can do this!

[SayNOtoPanic in reply to silentdreamer20]

positive energy to you silentdreamer20, and thx for sharing. I appreciated your advice as well.

[SayNOtoPanic]

Hang in there Miagirl82! Be kind to yourself and one foot in front of the other. Do you do any yoga or meditation? Hobbies or some breathing exercises just to give yourself small breaks in the day. Have you tried any online or work from home options? Just to get back in the groove but not jump fully into being at a work place. Good vibes and prayers up to you.

[designguy]

You don't mention if you are currently working with a therapist but if not, you might find a therapist that specifically treats trauma/ptsd to help you process and heal your trauma. Mine used emdr as well as other modalities and it was very helpful for my healing. Another helpful thing is working on loving and taking care of yourself, a lot of us suffered or still suffer from low-self-esteem and low-self-worth and struggle with self compassion and self-care and self-acceptance which is critical for our healing and recovery. There is a lot of good info on youtube available about this.