New here - hello!

[brightlight66]

I've been struggling with some physical health issues over the past couple of years. I thought they had stabilized, but now are somewhat reappearing, and I fear the worst. I've cried many times worrying about this, worrying about what will happen to me and my family if I get a frightening diagnosis. My son is in college, we've always had a close and loving relationship, I don't want him to know about my health issues, depression and anxiety, he's making his own life, studying and working, I'm so proud of him, and love him so much I don't want him worrying about me, as he has my sensitive nature. My husband just says, "stay positive", "be strong". I'm a very sensitive person by nature, so it's hard for me to just "cheer up". I'm waiting on some test results and see another doctor next week. I have no one near by to talk to, my parents have been dead over 10 years, and my sister lives across the country, besides I don't want to worry her. I have no close women friends and started working from home a year and a half ago, which has been a mixed blessing, due to health issues, but very isolating. I had just started that job a few months before covid hit, and never really got a chance to make friends with my coworkers. I just feel so sad, and angry about feeling sorry for myself. I think I'll contact my PCP about maybe getting something prescribed for depression and anxiety? Anyway, thank you for listening, so glad I found this community, I know I'm not alone in suffering.

[Roxylox]

I have an idea what you might be going through, as I too had some tests recently. But my diagnosis is not so bad. I can sympathise with your worries. Working from home does have its advantages. I have to face into driving in the rain and the wind shortly to a workplace where l work alone. In some ways it suits me though. I wish you well in every way.

[brightlight66 in reply to Roxylox]

Thank you so much, safe travels to you today.

[Mrspjsmom]

Hopefully the test results will give you answers and nothing is seriously wrong. Calling your PCP is a good idea. For me not knowing what's going on makes me anxious. And every test, prescription, or seeing a specialist seems to need pre-approval. I fought for ten months because I needed an MRI of my entire spine. Sending positive thoughts.

[brightlight66 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Thank you so much, the not knowing is the worst, and I'm sure anxiety has made my symptoms worse. Yes, it's so hard navigating the healthcare system. I was also diagnosed with osteoporosis this year, and can't get approval from insurance for the treatment my doctor wants me to have. It's terrible people have to wait so long and fight so hard for their health. I appreciate your feedback.

[Hb2003]

hello welcome to this kind amazing community wanted to let you know your not alone 🙏❤️

[kim111]

This site is a great start for reaching out as there are many supportive people. Contacting your PCP is also a good idea as it may lead to getting more professional help. I have been helped by a counselor for years and it may be worth your time and money to get some tools that will make your life better. Husbands can support but may not have mental health training. I wish you the best in your current health issues.

[dmt1121]

I don't know you specific circumstances but I can relay my own experience that may be similar to your.

I am bipolar 1 and suffer from depression. I have always been sensitive to others and tend not to share my sadness with others. In 2016, seemingly out of nowhere, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. It was a high-risk type, not the ones "You die with and not from."

I have had surgeries, chemo and hormone treatments and I have been stable for several years on a hormone suppressing drug and hope to keep it that way for many more years. My wife knew from the beginning what was happening but I made sure I was honest with my daughters (one of whom was in med school and one who was an undergraduate). I told them that it was manageable but not curable but also told them that I should have a years before it got worse. I promised to tell them if there were any noteworthy changes.

I found that this helped be stay grounded, focus on my general health and gave them the information they needed to go on with their lives. As long as your son has the truth and is treated like an adult, he is likely to be okay about it. He will know the reality but also know you are not dying now. Often, withholding the truth can hurt more.

On another note, I found a therapist (I also have a psychiatrist for meds) that works with people facing serious illness. The combination has been very helpful. It is so important to learn to allow others to care for you and not always be the one taking care of them. It is about letting go of control and the role we believe we are supposed to play. Serious illness shows us a new way, one of being in the moment, crying because we are sad, focusing on ourselves when needed and allowing others to comfort us.

You sound like a very strong person but don't let that be your downfall. Strength can also be self-care and doing less for others, to be able to focus on yourself. That is what our bodies are telling us.

Family is usually stronger than your think and they want to help. Not helping can make them feel powerless. We can often feel that we are a burden and is not helpful psychologically. It is a gift you are giving to them to be able to show their love for you.

Please let us know how you are doing and message me personally if you feel so inclined.

Good luck!

[Laykonyde]

Hi brightligh66,

Welcome aboard!

[designguy]

Hello and welcome to the group, I hope you find it helpful for you here. It feels good to be here and connect with others and realize we aren't alone.

[Willow2022]

Hello and welcome. Hugs all around. Echoing what others have said: contact PCP and see if there is a way to get some anti anxiety meds on board to bring your body back to a place where you aren’t in a fight or flight mode. Therapy has been very beneficial for me and might be for you as well.

As mentioned before, please don’t wait to share your health concerns/issues with family. My family has a history of hiding medical problems and I can tell you from experience that it is hard to realize you were “the last to know”. It sounds like you have a solid relationship with your son. Tell him. Don’t bear the burden yourself. If he had medical issues but withheld it from you as to not worry you, how would that make you feel? I do not say this as a guilt trip, simply telling you I think you and your son are stronger than you give yourselves credit for 💜.

[Agora1]

Hi brightlight66 and Welcome to a safe and understanding site.

You now have a place to come 24/7 to let out your fears and concerns

to a virtual family of friends. My best to you with your test results. xx