Feeling broken

[Confusedwife]

I just feel so broken tonight. I am usually very together and it's a running joke that i have no feelings because things don't really bother me but tonight all i can do is cry.

Im so angry with my husband. He got a little quirk that i thought i was okay with but tonight im just so mad at him for it. He had to go away for work and i was supposed to go with him. Planned that way for months but then 3 weeks before he hinted that he didn't want me to go and finally i made him say it. I booked time off work for it months ago and have to take the vacation no matter what do now I'm sitting in my stupid house in the fall doing nothing while he's away somewhere warm. I know he's doing some work but he gets to do a lot of fun things while he's there as well. All i wanted tobdo was relax by a pool.

I just feel that's is because of this stupid thing he does that he didn't want me there.. and im so mad about it ( not cheating on me. I truly don't believe he would).

I hate being in my house on a regular basis and doing it while i should be on vacation is even more frustrating for me.

I mentioned going somewhere but got a guilt trip since this isn't actuality a vacation for him. I don't know...i just feel so down.

I cant even bring up the quirky thing because i previously said it didn't bother me, but tonight it really really does.

Im not great with communication. I hate discussing uncomfortable thing so i tend to just bottle it up until it goes away, and im sure this will to, it just doesn't feel like it tonight.

I know i should probably see someone but im anyways so afraid to share because if i tell them my husband's dirty little secret and i end up seeing them somewhere i feel like i will be judged.

Just a shitty night, feeling shitty and crying (which i rarely do but just can't seem to stop tonight)

[ThatTigerLily]

Don't beat yourself up. It makes perfect sense why you would be so upset. Obviously I don't have the whole story but this might be a great turning point for you. It shows that you can work on that weakness (not speaking up) and possibly find relief when you encounter future issues.

I hope you are able to make the best of your time off even though you are at home. Maybe a little staycation pampering?

[Raggedy-Ann]

Screw the guilt trip he laid on you. Go find a beach a pool and a tropical drink. Uninviting you is bs. You are his wife! You deserve a vacation. Go and let him feel insecure and wondering what you're doing. He may be working but obviously he is going to have fun too. Denying you some fun on your precious vacation time is controlling. It might do you good to be your own person out in the world, see something new, be someone new if only for a week or so. It might be good for your marriage. Can't have his cake and eat it too, "Oh hunnie, I know you took this time off to go with me but I think you should sit at home and like it. NOT

[RupertBrown]

"Just bottle it up until it goes away." The thing is, it doesn't go away. Agree with other reply, don't beat yourself up for being upset. You're allowed and he has earned it. It may be uncomfortable talking to him about this but he needs to know how this made you feel.