locked in a cage

[kikikatxoxo]

TW - DV, Emotional Neglect, SA, Abuse, Alcoholism

It feels like I'm trapped in a cage in my own home with no way out. I drink the pain away and just constantly wish I could be someone else. My younger sister was physically assaulted by her abusive ex and my other sister is stuck in a trauma bond with her abuser. It's really hard coping with this, that and my twin sister is bipolar so she just erratic and violent. I've also dealt with a breakup and my ex joked about DV and SA me even when he knew about my trauma. I felt so disgusted but have no room to deal with the pain since it's a constant 911 in my household. My dad also wasn't there for me emotionally as a kid and even though it's not as bad, it still left scars on me I can't get rid of. He threatened to leave the house because of this drama and I just so trapped and afraid. Afraid that I will never find love or I'll be on the short end of the stick because of my life problems. I overwhelm all my friends and I just can't live a happy life. It's hard, it's really hard being alive.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry you feel this way. Sounds like there’s a lot of drama going on in your family, and that isn’t good. Try to find some peace. If living at home is chaotic and financially you can’t move out, try at least getting away from everyone for awhile. Try doing things like going to the local library by yourself for awhile. I have to live with my parents right now and that isn’t easy, I go for long walks.