How did you get through???

[Bookishbunny]

To anyone that has been suicidal how did you get through that time? How did you find the strength to stay? How did you put your life back together?

I have no one left. If I died right now no one would be sad. About three people would be conflicted, mourning the girl I was while being glad they would no longer have to deal with me. It's sad but I know it's true. I was staying for my family, but now I don't think they would care. I keep reaching out for help and support but continuously get shot down. It's clear that I only have me left. But I don't want to live for myself.

If you care to share but don't feel comfortable posting a comment feel free to message. I need help, thanks for reading.

[AnxiousSilver]

" About three people would be conflicted, mourning the girl "

You just answered your original question right there, (& yes I did read your entire post)

You have 3 reasons right there.

.

On top of that, you have "meaning"

Your writing is your meaning.

Maybe it will eventually be in books, Maybe it will be in blogs. Maybe it will be something that helps others out, but your writing is your meaning.

.

So you have "meaning", plus 3 people, plus this community here.

These are the things that you need to tell yourself whenever you get down.

JMO.

[puppyplaytime]

Do you have pets? Or have you thought of adopting any?

During those times when I wondered the same things you are, I had my pets to consider. Toxic family members may not miss me, but I wouldn't trust my pets to anyone, and I don't think my soul would ever rest knowing I left them to fate.

Of course, pets are also very therapeutic. When the rest of the world has screwed you over, your dog/cat is still there at home looking to you for care and attention...and most people swear that pets know when you are upset, and will stay by your side to comfort you.

If you can't get a cat or dog right now, maybe get some fish or a white rat that you can hide when the landlord comes to fix the sink....just something to take care of and gives you a reason to get out of bed to feed them.

[Bookishbunny in reply to puppyplaytime]

God, I've tried. Unfortunately, I still live at home, and my family won't let me adopt. Thank you for the wonderful post.

[Survivor1687]

Hey... (((hugs))) 💜 I just want you to know that your life does matter. I can relate to your feelings. I somehow managed to make it through those dark thoughts, I almost really didn't. Please know youre not alone with these feelings. This is a really supportive community. If you ever want someone to talk to or vent to... I'm a message away.

[blue-green-purple]

"To anyone that has been suicidal how did you get through that time? How did you find the strength to stay? How did you put your life back together?"

First, my life is certainly not "back together" but it is getting better slowly. I agree with getting a pet. My dogs rescued me when I got them from the shelter. Some days they are the only reason I get out of bed at all.

Second, I didn't have strength to do anything - stay or go - but it was just easier to cry myself to sleep telling myself "tomorrow I won't feel like this" and pray... A LOT. Have you heard the saying, " There are no atheists in foxholes"? Depression is a very deep foxhole. So I'd say "This is just a foxhole and I'll be out of it again very soon". I would literally just keep talking myself out of it. "Not today, not tonight" "Things will change, they always do" "I won't always feel this way" "What if I get good news tomorrow & I miss it?"

When I'm having a really bad day (which I still do way too frequently), I go into total self-care. I have a list of things that I like or make me feel better & I pick one or two. Look into WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). It will give you a tool kit to fall back on.

Lately, when I'm getting to that point again, I curl up on the couch under a comfy blanket and listen to Eckhart Tolle reading his book, "The Power Of Now" on YouTube. I find it calming & grounding somehow--especially the first few chapters. I was surprised by his story. Then I usually fall asleep listening to it and hopefully wake up feeling just a tiny bit better. Maybe enough to have something to eat even if it's ice cream.

Lastly, we need you here. I need you here! I just found this group recently but it has been tremendously helpful and supportive just to know that I am not alone in my thoughts even if I am alone in life. I've spent hours pouring over these posts and forcing myself to engage and respond.

It takes a village to survive in this world. Let us be your village. There is strength in numbers and there are A LOT of us here. I'm so glad you posted and shared your feelings. Keep doing it. We can get through this together!

[Bookishbunny in reply to blue-green-purple]

Thank you it's really kind for a stranger to offer to be there, especially when no one else is.

[Hidden]

I start watching a new web series that can help me escape the reality.