is both the truth and part of what I was advised to mention upon joining this online support group.
I was formally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder back in 2016, but the onset symptoms began around 2012 while I was still attending high school. Some may say I was "semi-functional" when I somehow managed to trudge myself through graduation, but the following summer slowly plumaged into nearly 3 years of intense anxiety attacks accompanied by debilitating depression. These years comprised many days without an actual diagnosis or therapy/counseling of any sort - just myself, the four walls of my bedroom, a dreadful chat site that substituted as a sense of "community", and my own isolated mental and emotional sufferings. My toils and troubles were endured alone as my family was not very understanding of mental health conditions and I was often left with the typical "just go outside and get some sunshine" type responses. In fact, I was practically refused mental health care as a minor due to parental fear of "some [irrelevant] outsider may think my daughter is crazy" if they found out I was receiving therapy. And yes, "crazy" had become an extremely derogative term I often dreaded being referred to as. But "crazy" must have been what I had to be when I essentially forced the hand of my parental devices to take me seriously about my overhauling mental illness when I 5150'd myself just so I could talk to a medical professional of any sort. From this current standpoint, I am pretty sure the medical professionals I had seen missed a couple of diagnoses, but I had already got what I wanted -- the proof, the necessity, the look on my family's faces when they finally realized it wasn't simply "all in my head"... ironically, that's exactly where my long-term companions, depression, and anxiety, have always resided... inside of my head. The intrusive thoughts. The flustering fits of dissociation and derealization. The paranoia. The dramatized emotions. Social isolation. Feeling like a menace to your own forced enduring state of consciousness. Perhaps I write to whoever is reading this now so I can simply get these thoughts out and relax for a moment...
So hello, I am new here...
But I am not a stranger to struggles with mental health.
Written by
anxiouspoet
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9 Replies
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Hi and welcome! That's the thing about mental health: it's made worse by what we goes on in our heads. We are our own enemy. For me, it's made worse because I think that others are thinking about me what I think about myself. It causes an unbelievable amount of suffering. I find it very therapeutic to write; it seems as though you find that as well (am I correct?). I hope we can help support you!
Hello! Thanks for welcoming me! I do like writing... I use to do more of it before I started becoming depressed and losing interest in my passions. I hope to write my thoughts out here in the meanwhile, both to share with others as well as for cathartic purposes.
Hey, thanks for being open and honest about your struggles, that takes courage and I believe is an important part in recovery from anything. Many of us struggle here, I've found the support from here really great. It's been a helpful part of my recovery. I hope you find it helpful as well. Welcome 😊💜
Hello! I am happy to hear you have found lots of care and support here! I joined as a way to not feel so alone in my struggles and, so far, it has helped me in some ways. I appreciate everyone who has reached out and allowed themselves to be vulnerable as well.
I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder around 12 then panic disorder and social anxiety at 13/14.
I suffer from c-ptsd. I had a complicated childhood. My mom was my biggest critic and supporter. She was in denial for some time that anything was wrong with her baby girl. But finally accepted that there was. It was a rough several years but I managed to lead a somewhat productive life. Eventually I did hit my stride in my mid 20s and into my 30. But then that all changed with my thyroid. Doctor put me on medication that has anxiety and depression as it's side effects and now I feel I'm back where I started. I'm so crestfallen. Sometimes I wanna,5150 myself but the places here in my city aren't great. my sister JG was taken to one for her bipolar disorder and its not a place I would like to be put in for a.72 hr psych hold. Screaming, loud sounds and patients just roaming around. Love to go to one place but they only accept private insurance or cash. I have Medicare and Medicaid so it's the psych wing of a hospital for me if I do go down that road. Which I don't want to. My biggest fear is that I'll lose mind or just never recover from this endless nightmare. Just be a burden to my elderly mother and fiance. Ugh 😮💨. I so want to get better and back to being me.
But here you are not alone and you are among friends. Everyone here has been friendly and kind to me for the several months I've been here.
Hello there and oh my gosh, thank you so much for being so open and expressive with me! I totally feel you when you mentioned feeling like you're back you're started in your mental health journey because I feel the same (hence, why I am here now). I am open to taking medication, but I do fear the side effects it can have. I am on Medi-cal so *fingers-crossed* no more going down the 5150 tunnel, and, instead, finding a helpful therapist. I hope we can share progressions in our endeavors together!
There's no reason not to hold back my experience especially here cause we pretty much in the same boat. And no need to sugar coat things cause we are all adults 🙂
Of course, hope to see you around here with good news or anything you feel like sharing. Wishing us the best of luck on our mental health journey 💖🙏🏽
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I don't want to feel lonely in this
An introduction
First time post 
2 habits the mental health community cannot live without
Greetings and an Introduction
