social anxiety - always feeling inadequate

[On-the-road-now]

In most social situations, especially group social situations, I always feel inadequate, like I am flawed socially and there's no way I can fit in. Then I start comparing myself to others and trying to fit in and trying to come up with something to say. Then I get more anxious which makes it more difficult to come up with things to say. Then if I do something that I think I may be judged for, I'll think about it for days. It's been the same since I was in grade school. The anxiety turns to depression which then makes it harder to socialize, and it starts all over again.

Anybody got any advice?

[Kainan]

Yes I’ve had the same issues. If I don’t have anything to say I tell myself it’s fine, I’ll just listen. That can help with being more present and maybe by actively listening you can find something to add to the conversation.

[designguy]

I had social anxiety for years not really knowing what it was until a few years ago. Mine came from bullying and growing up with no emotional support in an emotionally repressive household. I tried finding a therapist who specialized in treating social anxiety but there wasn't one near me so I did a online program for the socialanxietyinstitute.org which helped. I would have preferred an in person therapy because the typically use group and exposure therapy which I think would accelerate things. I learned that my perceptions and beliefs about myself were totally wrong, that people were not judging me they were too wrapped up in themselves. I also learned it was ok to make mistakes and to not be critical with myself. Those of us with SA also tend to have low-self-worth and low-self-esteem. I found a program by Dr. Bernadette Sewell called "Break Free" that was really helpful. She also originally suffered from SA. It takes commitment and persistence but you can definitely heal and recover from SA.