I feel worthless.

[ResoldAs]

Long story short. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and ptsd. I struggled all throughout school and currently struggle to find a job. I feel like a burden and all I want to do is bring something to the table. Worst part is that I see others around me stress over having to care for me. I hate this feeling. I need a job, but the problem there is that my anxiety basically cripples me and my depression holds me from moving forward. I need help. Story of my life.

[Blue_81]

I think eventually you will find a job. If possible try to find one that has some physical activity, that should help alleviate some of the anxiety and depression symptoms. Hopefully you can find something that will start you off with a few hours a day. If you are feeling down, walking or some physical activity helps me much with feeling better. Hope everything goes well.

[ResoldAs in reply to Blue_81]

I'm always looking at job listing hoping something will jump out at me. As of right now, I'm thinking of working at a funeral home. Throughout me trying to find a job my anxiety gets worse and worse and worse.

[paperpencil]

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way. Living with that every day is really difficult. I think I know exactly how you feel. I'm also 29 and struggling with the same thing. Like you I was also questioning whether or not posting on here could be helpful when I signed up yesterday, but even simply reading others posts takes away some of the isolating feeling.

You aren't alone! Honestly, I could've written your post myself and it would all be true. So I don't know how helpful I could be but you can message me anytime if you want to vent about it. I would certainly welcome a chat with someone in such a similar situation. And I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts especially since it can be difficult.

[ResoldAs in reply to paperpencil]

I am definitely open for a chat. It's nice to talk to someone in similar situations.

[Hidden]

First of all, get the word worthless out of your vocabulary. You are definitely not worthless!Second of all, the fact that you can admit that you need help is a huge step. Not everyone can make that step, so be proud of yourself for that.

Thirdly, how do you know that others are stressing over caring for you? Have they told you so? (Looking for evidence is a tool I've learned over the years).

And lastly, please be kind to yourself. Being a human is hard. Being a human who struggles with mental health issues is even harder. I remember a therapist telling me that mental health issues are as real as having a physical illness like diabetes. Just as those with diabetes need to go the extra mile to make sure they take care of themselves, so do those of us with mental health issues.

I hope this helps.

😊

[ResoldAs in reply to Hidden]

I am told a lot by my significant other that they are stressing and that everything is on their shoulders. It makes me feel horrible.

[Hidden in reply to ResoldAs]

I bet! That's not helpful. The last thing you need is it rubbed in. Have you told this to your significant other?

[primrose81]

Again I can strongly identify with your feelings. I have severe depression and anxiety which prevent me from doing a lot of things but am trying hard to make small(huge) steps away from my comfort zone. Hope you feel a lot better soon x

[Agamemnon2022]

Depression has kept me from holding a job for some time. There are some days in which I simply can't make it out of the house. But consistent effort over many, many failures and restarts and now I'm finally making a lot of progress.

I guess what I trying to say is that life is a marathon, not a sprint. There are going to be periods of extreme depression and anxiety but there are also moments of brilliant light and joy. Life can still be a beautiful thing. People like us have to fight longer and harder for it than others but it is there for us too.

[Mumbutterfly]

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time and having an unsupportive significant other makes it so much worse (I was there for way too long hoping it would get better).

I’ve been working as a caregiver for over a year. I had to leave the first company because of the increased depression and anxiety but am now with a very supportive company and am finally getting better. I work the overnight shift because of physical limitations but I’ve heard the other shifts are good, too. Helping people is great and it’s also very good for my self worth and getting paid to do it supports me, as well. I had wanted to do it for many years but was barely able to take care of my kids and had nothing left to give others. There are group homes where you work with co workers and that can be good and it can be bad, depending on what they’re like. You would think that everyone who’s a caregiver would be supportive of each other but that isn’t the case. There are some really good ones and some really bad ones and some in between.

I’m now working one on one with elderly people and it’s working out much better. I love to listen to them tell their life stories and they love having someone willing to listen. There is a huge need for more caregivers so getting a job in that field is super easy and doesn’t require any special skills or experience. Some companies pay well and others are just minimum wage. The key for us is to find one that will work with us and not add to our issues so you might have to try different ones to find a good fit.

The reason I picked this company and have chosen to stay with it, even though others are paying better, is because the office staff has been so very encouraging right from the start. That’s something to look for when you’re applying and you’re more likely to find a good company to start with instead of working for one that just makes everything worse.

The biggest thing is to not settle for less than you need emotionally and to not stay with one that isn’t a good fit for you. Sorry this is so long. I’m not good at being brief. Hope you are able to find what you need

[gramabrenda]

Dear ResoldAs,

You are precious and a valuable part of the human race. Please don’t let the depression, that hinders you keep you, from making your special contribution to the betterment of mankind. I really think that your call for help and your hope for a job is a good sign that you are working your way toward health. I am sharing my story in hopes that it will help you. Let me explain. I spent eight months bedridden, my anxiety had physically manifested itself and I was down for the count. I struggled with being dependent. I was used to be independent and being the care taker of my family. But it was my turn to receive. My family changed my perspective and helped me to realize that I needed to receive the blessings of being taken care of. I needed to let someone else have an opportunity to give.

I realized that I had lost something- the life that I had lived. I had to learn to appreciate what I had but had to let it go and go through a grieving process. Then I was able to discover what I had gained. I had a new life and it had its own special blessings and moments. I had to learn to look at life in a different way. I needed to seek and accept help. I needed to refocus.

Giving makes one feel like they have a purpose and almost comes naturally. Receiving also has a purpose but doesn’t come so naturally for most folks. Being cared for gives you an opportunity to allow someone else an opportunity to give. You can be the one to take reflective moments and see special ways you can fit into the lives of those who are taking care of you. You can be the ears that listen to the “talks” of someone who needs ears to hear. You can be the one to share special moments that others might be too busy to see and/or experience. It is a great time to write a book. Ask for a recorder and “go for it.” Somedays, I could be the one to make phone calls for the family needs and/or call shut ins. Some days I didn’t have the strength to do that.

You have a purpose right now and you are a valuable part of your family. Things have just changed from what you normally used to do to a new normal. You may have to take a step back and regroup before you can begin the next phase of your life, step by step. Right now just focus on what you can do. If you are so inclined you can be the “prayer warrior.” There are lots of needs for those who have the time to pray.

I am praying that you will find your purpose and be able to fill your special role. I am praying that God will lift your eyes to see the beauty and blessings around you. I am praying for you to find at least one thing to be grateful in each 24 hour period. God bless you and your caregivers.

[Pte82]

ResoldAs, before reading this post click on the frontiersin link below to get an overview of a possible cause for your health concerns and how it can be managed through nutrition utilizing activated vitamin B1 also called thiamine. Thiamine is a component needed for brain and vagus nerve function but is often at a deficiency because anti thiamine factors diminish thiamine. See stuttersense attachment. The thiamine forms sulbutiamine and TTFD are efficient passing through the blood/brain barrier. Magnesium is a component needed to convert thiamine to it's active form. It too is often found to be deficient in the diet. Search on "krispin magnesium" calculation for daily needs. Magnesium L-threonate is a form that can pass the blood brain barrier and can be included with other forms in calculating daily elemental magnesium. Boron increases magnesium absorption. Search on "nothing boring about boron" for more info. Always consult your health care professional before using any supplement.

frontiersin.org/articles/10...

stuttersense.blogspot.com/2...

[ResoldAs in reply to Pte82]

I'm definitely going to do my research! Thank you!