Why I always like to compare myself with other?Am I setting too high standards for myself or I feel not secure enough? I could compare anything with others even with the person I don't quite know?
Comparing with others: Why I always... - Anxiety and Depre...
Comparing with others
Hi and welcome! 1. I think you just answered your own question and 2. I think both your answers are correct. You set high standards for yourself and you don't feel secure enough.
Thanks for your reply! Do you know how to get rid of this ‘comparing mind’?
You're welcome. Good question! I'm working on feeling more secure with myself first. Once I get better at that, I'm hoping the other will naturally get better. It take practice. One of the things I try and think about: others probably don’t set punishingly high standards for themselves, so why should I? Others are only human; am I telling myself, by being way too hard on myself, that I'm not just as human? I can accept their humanness but I can't accept my own?
I think it also comes down to self-respect. The respect I have for myself is very low (and is actually non-existent in some areas of my life). In certain areas I feel like I don't deserve to respect myself. In this case, I can ask myself why I am undeserving. I can ask myself what I did to not deserve it.
I've been told that I have a gift for making others feel good about themselves. The problem is, though, that I have an extremely hard time transferring those "feel good" statements to myself. I know I'm not alone in having a near-impossible time of doing this. In that case, I can ask myself why others deserve kind words when I don't.
My dad recently told me that he thinks the word "deserve" should be expunged from our vocabulary.
I hope this helps😊 Writing this actually helps me too, so thank you!
I think those are some very good method, thank you! We all deserve kindness, especially ourselves.
You're welcome😀 I wonder why it's so hard to show kindness to the number one person in our lives -- us? I hate being my own worst critic!Have a great day!