I broke my neck almost two years ago. I nearly died. While I was learning how to walk and talk and do simple things like bathe myself, my previous life disintegrated. I had to sell my house and everything I owned and move back home with my mother. I had been described in my life as “independent to a fault.” I’ve been so humbled. Now I’m getting better but I have massive brain fog and frustration and anger. I don’t know how to move forward.
I’d just love to hear from anyone going through anything similar and how you’re dealing with it.
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LadyJfromAK
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I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I will tell you I honestly had a life changing experience myself about 13 years ago... health, relationship, business, house, everything....gone. Lost two very close friends who passed within 3 months of each other. All gone. And I thought this was it for me... I was done. Or to put it more to how I felt...'Un-done'. So, I too learned humility in the hardest and harshest ways. How to put my life back together in my early 50's, with very few savings left, and no home... I had a few things, my car and my cat.
All I can tell you is one day I just said I wasn't going to give up living somewhere I didn't want to be, and doing nothing to change it anymore. So... I packed up my car and drove to Oregon. I kid you not. I didn't have a clue other than the fact I was going to survive somehow. I worked crap jobs at a temp. Agency, and rented a room extension, and literally started from scratch all over again. I also started college again, yeah... and got a student loan to do it.
I'm not rich, I have what I need and want, I'm now living with the one I love, we have our home, we have the cat's , and live in the countryside where we want to be....so.... yes....take baby steps, one bite of humble pie at a time kiddo... and as with your recovery... it's one day at a time. Try to have an open mind about what your able and capable of doing... you will find your path my friend... just be patient and don't look back.
See... great minds think alike... and if I can do it, I know any of us can start over. Oregon is my other heaven on earth... green, beautiful, and where a lot of the kids and grandkids of us old hippies have grown up. The saying is; 'Keep Portland Weird', meaning... art, food, science, and culture... acceptance for who you are is a norm.
The city is so culturally rich in every way, and art and food and education are celebrated. Kids are allowed to express themselves in positive and constructive ways, and us old hippies encourage the richness of nature, and to explore and protect it. It's a fun place to live and people are actually nice. Gardening is a given, art is awesome, and don't get me started on mushroom hunting... It's where I always wanted to retire.
I think I can relate. 2 years ago I was swimming my daily mile as fast as I could. Getting ready to climb into a cold lake in a few months, and swim 2 miles in the over 60 years old class. And my sternum cracked open. It turned out to be osteosarcoma cancer in my sternum. I was a guy who woke up every morning at 430-530 without an alarm clock. Drank my decaf coffee, while going on sites like this, to try help people with anxiety. Then heading to the gym to cross train or swim. Then working 8-14 hours a day, in 1 of the 3 small businesses I had started 10-33 years ago. Between the fear and anxiety and chemo and surgery. I was not sure I would make it. It’s been 2 years now, and I’m still trying. I sold the businesses last year. And I am back excercising as of a year ago. And am actually swimming with a mask and snorkel 45 minutes in the pool. Yes, the loss of the income was something. But when you are fighting for your life, I didn’t give it much thought. I had saved my money. It’s not easy with a cement sternum. But I am fighting my way back. Just like you did and are doing. I am in remission 2 years. And the dr told me I better get used to the new chest. He said can you live with the new chest for 20-30 years? That’s his way of giving me hope . The most important word for us.. hope.. I am actually thinking about working part time again.
Things that help me.. I start every morning with the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. When I first started I couldn’t do the beginner 3 round. Now I use the 3 round to warm up for the 5 round. When I’m done with these I take a 10 minute pure cold shower. You can Google and you tube this stuff. I had to work my way from cool to cold. I go and swim and sauna. And I do resistance bands weight training. And I try to have hope for a future. Because what good does it do sitting around thinking about all the bad things? That may or may not happen? I spent last night at my grandkids house. They cheer me up and my daughter and son in law. My wife will be coming over soon she doesn’t like to spend the night unless we watch the kids for the parents get away. I think I have some idea of what you went through. Maybe not much of an idea. But I can relate, and I am here for you.
Thank you so much!! It’s so helpful hearing what works for others. I definitely need to get back into a better rhythm with band exercises and breathing techniques. I enjoy Qi Gong. I feel like at the beginning I was l literally fighting for my life. I had to do it. Now, at two years, I’m depressed and hate how is coincides with laziness. I just need to find motivation. I’m in a circular rut.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you have been through a lot. I have had a very dark cloud following me the past 2 years too. The things I told you that help me, are enough to beat it up. I was feeling anxious and edgy today. Until I went in that cold water. It’s enough to blow the dark cloud away for 8-12 hours. I met a 36 year old man at the pool I swim in. He broke his neck 20 years ago in a car accident. He drives himself to the pool twice a week and does physical therapy against the pool wall. He is in a wheelchair, but can hold the handrail to get in and out of the pool. When I see Phil not giving up, I’m not going to give up either. Never surrender!
How did you hurt your neck? Maybe taper off on the drinking, until you wean off? Maybe try the Wim Hof breathing exercises twice daily free on you tube. And after your shower rinse in cool water? I am up for things that help you to help me too? I keep getting sucked back into the health anxiety.
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xx
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