Anxiety

[MaxxDanger]

Hello I'm new here... I don't know what to say... I'm always afraid about everything.. I can't even do my normal chores like brushing, bathing, cooking, cleaning etc... I'm always tired- no energy. I don't know what to do. It's killing me both mentally and physically.. I have no friends.. Someone please help. Thank you!

[Sandrute2]

Hello I have problems with my health too. Do you know what is the reason? I know why my health is weak.

[MaxxDanger in reply to Sandrute2]

I just don't, know the specific reason.. I'm just always afraid for no reason... I can't do anything about it...

[Agora1]

Welcome MaxxDanger to this caring site.I use to be afraid of everything just like you.

It's a terrible feeling to not have control over your

emotions and fears.

You've taken the first step forward by coming onto this

support site.

We all have experienced what you are feeling so you are

not alone my friend. We help each other and we learn from

each other that there are many ways we can get better.

I'm happy you are with us xx

[MaxxDanger]

I'm afraid of people with no reason

[CarlJames in reply to MaxxDanger]

I used to be too. I believed that what I feared was people seeing how weak/inadequate I thought I was, and judging me negatively as a result. But what I learned was that:

1) I wasn't really weak/inadequate. I just thought I was. My guess is you are doing the same.

2) What really hurt me was not other people's judgment of me, but how I put myself down as a result of thinking they saw me so negatively. I beat myself mercilessly, and felt huge amounts of shame. And that is what I really feared - the shame and putdowns I inflicted on myself when I interacted with people.

You can start by being kind to yourself, and not believing those thoughts that you are a failure or inadequate. They are wrong. When you view yourself and treat yourself better, your fear of others will become much less, and eventually disappear completely.

[MaxxDanger in reply to CarlJames]

I'm awfully scared that I cannot do anything.. I'm just anxious all the time. I'm always tired and low.. I cannot do anything...

[JP0187 in reply to CarlJames]

Such a nice response. I'm trying to figure out how to be kinder to myself. It's actually fairly hard to do.

[CarlJames in reply to JP0187]

It is hard at first, mainly I think because we've not done it much before. I found that allowing myself to screw up or say the wrong thing without cussing myself out was a start.

When I screwed up, I tried to acknowledge it as simply as I could, saying "I screwed up", without making excuses. If it impacted someone else, I would apologize as simply and honestly as I could, saying "Sorry. I made a mistake", or "Sorry. I didn't say that very well".

It's taking responsibility, but not making yourself a bad person over it. It only points to what you did, not who you are. i.e. you made a mistake, you aren't a mistake.

Same with my anxiety. I would simply say "I'm feeling a bit anxious", without trying to hide it, denying it, or making excuses. It was basically saying I suffer from anxiety, and that's OK. I wasn't a bad person. I was just someone who suffered from anxiety. (which is true of a significant percentage of people - about 1 in 6).

[JP0187 in reply to CarlJames]

It only points to what you did not who you are. That's huge for me because I seem to link everything to "who I am" and that makes it 10,000 times harder. But its automatic. I dont even think twice. I really am sick of feeling so bad about myself.

[CarlJames in reply to JP0187]

You can change that. It takes a little time. First you need to notice when you do it, and gradually you can choose to think about yourself in a better way. Basically you treat yourself like you would treat a really good friend in the same situation as you. You would tell them they're not a bad person, but just someone who suffers from anxiety. And you would mean it.

So you do the same thing for yourself.

[JP0187 in reply to CarlJames]

I think for me, it'll be very important to get the people in my life that put me down, out of my life. I think that adds to it a lot. To my self esteem being barely existent. I seem to take on anything they say to me as automatically true. I'm so sensitive to things. Wish I had an attitude that I still love myself no matter what. I dont know how to even start to love myself. I've been trying to figure that one out for years and years and years.

[CarlJames in reply to JP0187]

It certainly makes it a lot harder when you have toxic people in your life.

[XoxoFaith]

I also feel like that I feel everything gives me anxiety it’s awful

[MaxxDanger in reply to XoxoFaith]

I'm always anxious all the time.. I'm always tired I cannot do anything...

[XoxoFaith in reply to MaxxDanger]

Yes as soon as I wake up Iam already scared I hate it ruins all my days wish I could enjoy my days but there is always set omething

[XoxoFaith]

Yes as soon as I wake up Iam already scared I hate it ruins all my days wish I could enjoy my days but there is always something

[gilded_masquerade]

I’m not sure if anything I’m about to say is going to be exactly helpful as it differs for everyone but maybe it could.One of the first things I was told about bursts of anxiety is to try to break down what is triggering you. By this I mean, say you’re standing in line at a grocery store, not sure why but that is one for me (or sitting in a lineup at a drive thru). It took me a while to even pull my thoughts out from the spiralling fear to even question myself. I eventually found out I was just impatient and wanted to leave because I didn’t want to stand around and wait (or god forbid bold anyone else up that was in line behind me).

Another thing I was told that I ABSOLUTELY hated was to flow with the feeling. By this, I mean literally keep doing whatever it is that’s making you anxious. The more you expose yourself the the fear, the less of a hold it has over you. Not very appealing but I’ve been told by several people that it does help in the long run. Not something to try right away or anything but maybe ease yourself in it.

Finally I’d just suggest to be gentle with yourself. We’re going through a crazy time in the world right now and we should cut ourselves some slack. If you’ve managed to pull yourself out of bed despite not wanting to, that’s a victory, no matter how small. Coming here and sharing your concerns is also a victory. Maybe journal and write down all these victories as a reminder or how much you are accomplishing. Hell, write for the sake of getting the nerves and thoughts out! It’s not the same as talking to someone but writing down whatever’s going on in your mind is SUCH a useful tool and it’s nice to get the thoughts out of your mind and put down on paper. Plus it could be used to refer to later if need be.

I know that it’s not easy, but if there was ever a battle worth winning, it’s the battle for yourself.

Take care 🖤