Holiday Anxiety

[autumnmarie5]

Hello there friends!! I know being diagnosed with anxiety that it never goes away and I pretty much deal with it everyday of my life but... Does anyone else deal with extra anxiety over the holiday season? I don't know if it's the traveling, the pressure, or the busyness of it all but I do struggle with it and sometimes find myself just wishing the holidays away and what's most sad is that Christmas is my favorite!!! Is there anyone that can relate?? Also, what are some things you do around the holidays that help calm you down or make it more peaceful for y'all?? Thank you in advance, I appreciate and love y'all!!!

[CarlJames]

I used to get really anxious around holidays. For me it was mostly because of social anxiety. I found that I couldn't take too much time where I was forced to be in the company of others (even family or friends that I loved), and expected to be happy and smiling. It was especially stressful if I had traveled away from home, because then it was really hard to withdraw if I felt I needed that. I didn't have a safe space to go to, and I couldn't just leave either.

Also being sat at a table where someone might put me on the spot, and I couldn't escape, was also a fear linked to my social anxiety.

I always preferred more random, casual and unplanned get-togethers, usually with fewer people.

[autumnmarie5 in reply to CarlJames]

I related to this comment MORE than you know. I am the same way. I am traveling for Thanksgiving and it always flares up my anxiety because I feel like I can't control the situation as much as if I were at home in my own space. What do you to help?

[CarlJames in reply to autumnmarie5]

What helped me the most was realizing that most of my anxiety came from the incredibly high standard I held myself to.

I was afraid of saying something stupid or embarrassing, not knowing what to say, forgetting someone's name, or just being too quiet. So when I was at the dinner table I was hyped up in fear and anticipation. And if something triggered my social anxiety I would overreact to it.

Once I got to grips with the fact that I wasn't really afraid of what others might think or say, but of my own reaction when my anxiety was triggered, then I could start to let that reaction go. Firstly I acknowledged I didn't know for sure what other people were thinking, so why make assumptions. Secondly, so what if people found my embarrassment funny or pathetic? To hell with them. All that really mattered was what I thought about myself. And I could choose to like and accept myself even if I said something dumb.

If someone asked me why I was so quiet, or if I was OK, I decided to simply say that these types of get-togethers make me anxious, and leave it at that. It was simple, honest, and if the person wanted to know more, they could ask. But usually they didn't, and they might even say "me too".

Since I was clear about how I was going to handle embarrassing situations, or being put on the spot, it took away a lot of my anxiety in that situation. It didn't work perfectly right away, but the more times I took this approach, the easier it became, until eventually I really, genuinely didn't care how things went. I was just going to be myself.

[fromzerotopanic]

Up until coming onto this board, like you, I didn't think anxiety would ever go away. But I have hope now as so many have said they have found relief! But the key is, we have to realize our scary thoughts won't go away (we will always be thinking thoughts!), but with help we can learn to not fear the thoughts and just accept them for what they are- just our mind creating 'noise'! I am not there yet (I've suffered for years but have approached it wrong all this time), but I have hope now I won't have to be like this forever! But, anyway, back to your holiday question! I think we all tend to do too much every year. Try to think back (non covid times!) at Christmas' past. Afterward, do you remember yourself saying 'next year I'm going to..." , or "this is the last time I'm going to..." based on what happened that year? Think about what you used to love about Christmas (you said it's always been your favorite!). Do you have to travel to be with your family? If travel makes you nervous, what would make it less nervous for you? A different mode of transportation? The stress of getting ready to go? Do you like small or big gatherings? Do you feel stress gift shopping? I think if you can sit down and think about what you really like/dread and then post here, some of us can help you figure out ways to feel better in those situations! Since we are still in this pandemic, Christmas is bound to still be a bit off this year. But it's important we can find ways to enjoy what we can during the Season!

[autumnmarie5 in reply to fromzerotopanic]

I appreciate you reaching out and commenting! You seem very kind and I am thankful that you wanted to reach out. I don't particularly enjoy traveling and this is the second year I'll be traveling with my boyfriend to see his family for Thanksgiving. They are such kind and sweet people so I know it's not them personally, it's just the lack of control it feels I have when I'm away and not in my own home for a couple days. I can't really tell you why it's just that's what I've gathered from my fear of traveling away. It is about a 5 hour car ride and we will be there until the Sunday after. I know that doesn't sound that long but whenever you don't eat much due to not being home it can feel like forever. I think I used to like the certainty of Christmas which I still do, but since Thanksgiving has changed for me the past couple years I feel like there's some uncertainty there that I can't shake. Thank you again for reaching out, I appreciate those like you 😊

[Catlover55]

I, too, am triggered by the holidays and the stores are decorated and playing Christmas music! For me, keeping it simple helps. Minimal decorating, etc. I've forced myself to start shopping and knowing I'm accomplishing that makes me feel relief.

[JkBauer]

Good morning,Yes, holidays can really bring on, the anxiety! But, I want to let you know that "You Have Got This!"

The holiday seasons used to always stress me out, family dynamics, ugh! Fortunately, I had and still have a very wonderful husband who helped me find a way through. Our families had a three-way tug of war from Thanksgiving until New Years Day. I would get so stressed out, I was always sick and vomiting and sleeping Christmas Day away. - 1). My husband stood up to both of our families and said this is how we are going to work this problem out ____________!

My husband and I had made a plan of how we could best find some quiet time for our family among the chaos of our families. We gathered them all together and told them what our solution was. And, if they would like to come over and visit, they were welcome to come over and visit. A). Taking away the stress of the holidays and finding quiet time with my own little family is what helped me overcome all the anxiety, headaches, stress... 2). Taking and Making time to pray to God and read the Bible, strengthened my mind and physical health, and energy... I was up and enjoying Christmas Day with my husband and kids, and loving the holidays once again. God Bless You! I am praying for you!

[autumnmarie5 in reply to JkBauer]

Thank you so much for your sweet comment. Being a Christian as well, I've done a lot of studies on anxiety and always pray and ask God for healing. I'm not sure where it comes from or why I get it so bad but all I know that if I keep my faith and keep praying that God will see me through. I appreciate you sharing your past with me as well to help gather that I am not alone in this. I am the type of person that I get so stressed out that I become nauseous and that nausea makes me not want to eat, which leads to me not eating, which leads to me throwing up as well😔 I hate to say it but i've gotten incredibly good at it over the years. Thank you for offering to pray for me, it is greatly appreciated more than you know. 💕

[JkBauer in reply to autumnmarie5]

God bless you! Keep your faith strong!

[Kamgal5]

I started online shopping years ago to relieve the stress I was feeling. As a Christian- I jam Christian music to remember that Jesus has my back!

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Kamgal5]

I do too!! I find it when I jam to Christian music it is able to give me some relief

[JkBauer in reply to Kamgal5]

Great idea!