Struggling for 5 years

[AsterixSocialanxiety]

I have been married for 5 years and it feels like my husband is always putting his sister first his parents next and me third and i hate it.

His sister is traveling to India which is our home country from Sweden where she lives along with her newborn. He now wants to travel to India to meet his nephew and tells me today that he plans to travel in the next three weeks in early December for two weeks. There could be so many potential visa and covid issues on his return. He never discussed with me just informed me. I have been crying for the last 3 hours. When it comes to things that really matter he never considers me.

[hypercat54]

The real key here is not the covid issues or anything else. It is the fact he is making decision which affect both of you without checking with you first. He is behaving like a single man without commitments. No wonder you are upset.

Does he always do exactly what he wants without considering you?

[AsterixSocialanxiety in reply to hypercat54]

He will always take me into consideration and even prioritize my needs until it is about his sister or parents. The moment they come into the picture he gives me and my feelings a big middle finger.

[gramabrenda]

Dear AsterixSocialanxiety,

I understand your frustration but I wonder if this is a cultural thing? When you married did you both understand that you would leave your parents and cleave to each other. This may go back to his understanding of marriage, especially since you say he is considerate in other areas. But whatever misunderstanding you have you both need to communicate. You may have to have outside help, like the person who married you, to help you work thru this. As another poster said, this is really about both of you making decisions that involve each other. I am praying for you. God bless you and your family.