Handling Sudden and Severe Anxiety and Depression

[Bobby5000]

Married for 30 + years to a nice, confident, socially adept woman. We decided on a move during Covid, there were problems, and she has developed severe anxiety and depression.* Questions,

1. When she develops episodes of severe anxiety, how do I address it, when she spouts irrational things such as the neighbors are watching her.

2. She seems not to develop a relationship with her therapist. This has been said by 4 therapists, psychiatrists, etc. Again she was happy and fully functional before.

*because of the sudden change, one family member has pushed for an exhaustive review of coexisting physical causes but found little.

[fromzerotopanic]

It sounds like the move/covid has triggered anxiety in her. Maybe it's been there all along and she just managed to hide it from others (many of us are great at that!). But sometimes, something in life comes along and it's just too much for us. It's good you had her Doctor check her to be sure there's nothing else going on. Did your move take you away from family/friends? Does she seem like she's wanting to get better but just can't figure out how, or is she fighting any therapy? I can't say if it will work yet or not (I just found out about it here a few days ago), but I've had good luck watching podcasts/videos from on online company called Dare, how to end anxiety, by Barry McDonagh. You can check them out on youtube and you'll find many videos. Maybe you can check them out first to see if you think she'd benefit from there. I know every site I read says not to reassure! So when you're wife asks if the neighbors are spying, don't tell her everything is fine. It will only make it go on longer. Perhaps go with her to one of her appts if she'll let you and ask the dr how he thinks you should help her!

[Tara52]

What were the reasons for the move? It may have taken her out of her comfort zone. Can she express to you what her thoughts are underneath all of the fear & anxiety?