Nobody knows me now

[erewano]

I feel like I'm a shadow, a stranger to the people I call family. What am I supposed to do now?

[PastelPink20]

I don’t have answers, but only similar questions.

There’s a great weight that rests upon one’s shoulders in viewing where one stands and mourning for where one wishes to be, somewhere further along, somewhere happier.

I think there is hope; right now, I just don’t believe in it.

How do I become closer to people around me?

How do I stop lying to them? Hiding away?

Why do I still believe they would be better off without me?

I don’t know your situation. I don’t know what your family looks like. I don’t know how you belong with them... or used to belong.

I don’t know. This is a place to hopefully feel less alone and be heard while you’re on your journey. Healing and growth happen in different ways over time. Different advice or what you learn can help. There are reasonable explanations and causes that have led to this shadow-feeling, such that others understand the feeling.

I think we end up having to answer the questions of: What do you believe about yourself and your family? How do your relationships within your family function? How does my family view myself or our relationship compared to my own perspective? How can I establish boundaries or make small steps within those relationships to spend more time with them, feel more joy with them, to feel included, more authentic, more heard, yet also safe? It’s complicated and might be something that takes time to process (maybe in therapy) as you grow, learn, and heal through more of life.

I haven’t figured it out yet. But, I wish you best.

[erewano in reply to PastelPink20]

Thanks pastelpink...it feels good to know that people like you can hear me. I hope you too will get through whatever you're going through.😇