This has been going on for a while an... - Anxiety and Depre...

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This has been going on for a while and nobody knows...

Siara_14 profile image
14 Replies

I'm in the only place I feel safe to post this. For a few years my dad has been being kind of sexual towards me like tugging at my dress/skirt and talking about his dick and making sexual comments and I am scared. We live where we have no family or friends and the closest they live is 16 hrs away. I don't have anyone to go to and that scares me even more. Idk if what he's doing people would consider normal but I was raped two years ago so the stuff he does makes me even more uncomfortable. Also he's not the one that raped me. He also has a sex addiction which he told me he has. Idk what to do and like I mentioned before, I have nobody.

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Siara_14 profile image
Siara_14
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14 Replies
Cherbear811 profile image
Cherbear811

NO , it is not normal first of of all. Do you have anywhere you can go, maybe a friend? Here where I live there are many very nice shelters for abused women, thst will take care of you until you get a job and support yourself. This is absolutely terrible. Im so sorry you have to endure that kind of behavior. You will find alot of support here. ❤

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Cherbear811

You right. Please call a local church and explain you need a safe place....if the church doesn't have a place, a member most likely take you to where there is safety. xx

Siara_14 profile image
Siara_14 in reply to HearYou

The churches here are just mormon ones and they won't help. My dad gave us a bad rep with them :/

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Siara_14

Ok, think, unless you are in Utah, there must be a Catholic of Baptist Church somewhere in your area code. Or a crisis line to call to get information on your options. Or a high school with a counselor. Don't give up.xx

Cherbear811 profile image
Cherbear811

Where do you live, if you dont mind me asking

shawnaskin profile image
shawnaskin

I would make it clear to him in a subtle way that you dont want that. If he touches your dress maybe you can tug it back sharply or something to let him know that your not interested. What about your Mom or other family can you talk to them and tell them?

Siara_14 profile image
Siara_14 in reply to shawnaskin

My mom is mentally ill with many different things so she's not in my life and my family doesn't like us

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi no this is far from normal and you are in danger. You must go to school? You need to tell an adult there either a teacher or counsellor what is happening. Don't delay and do it the next time you are at school. You need to do something before this gets worse. x

There is no excuse for this! You need to tell someone right away! Get yourself as soon as possible! I'm here for you but please, please get the help! XXX

I meant get yourself help as soon as possible . Forgive me for leaving that out!XXX

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

Your father has his own issues that he told you about and definitely unsure of his boundary's and is dealing with how to react with you as a young growing women. What he is doing is wrong. If it's possible and you can talk to him, tell him your uncomfortable at the way he pulls at you and talks to you. As he is your dad you love him, and you know he has an addiction, but it does not excuse his behaviour towards you, it's verbal sexual abuse. Call different hot lines and start looking around for some place that you can go and get support around your abuse so that you don't feel so powerless. The rape was not your fault and nobody has the right to touch you or treat you in anyway you do not want. You have to find ways to set boundaries with your father. Keep posting here, which is a safe place, the more support and clarity around this issue you get, the stronger you will feel to keep yourself safe. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. I personally feel your home environment is a lit fuse, and your not safe there. Please get some help.

old-soul profile image
old-soul

I suffered sexual abuse at the hands of many as a child. Though my father did not abuse me directly, he set me up, and each time I was abused, he made jokes about it and humiliated me to shut me up. As a boy, you want to be big, and be a man, NOT vulnerable, scared, laugh at and called a baby or a mama's boy. At nearly 50 years of age, this garbage still humiliates me.

I too felt trapped, confused, and I really felt ashamed. Siara, the beginning of finding help is just a phone call away if you are in the US. The National Sexual Assult Hotline number is 800-656-HOPE, and that is 24/7.

The people there can get you help that is local to you. I pray you will call them. Your dad is very sick, and the problem he has is not likely to just go away. Getting help does NOT mean you don't love your dad. Please call these people. They really CAN help.

Siara_14 profile image
Siara_14

I'm scared to leave. He's trying to move to WA and if he gets the job there then I'll go and try to live with my best friend that's like my brother. He knows what's going on but I can't get there without my dad. I have no job or licence . His anger is getting bad. He's now calling me pudgy and fat and that I don't have a life. I'm trying to hold on. The people we live with don't seem to like me and if I even told them they would tell him and idk what would happen. He has control issues. I've been going through this for so long that I think I can hold on for a little longer. I'm just really scared to leave.

old-soul profile image
old-soul

100% typical of a sex abuser. My father tore me down on a daily basis, and being a terriffic gaslightimg narcissist he was real good at getting others to actuall JOIN IN with his taunts. I felt completely helpless and spmetimes even started to believe I was awful, though for different reasons than the lies he told me. I didn't like myself because I could never stand up to him and win.

Siara, I can't stress this to you enough. 1-800-656-4673. You can call them even if you just need to talk, okay?

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