On a rollercoaster of emotions

[DoodleMomma]

I’m having a really hard time. I want to hurt myself but have a promise with my psychologist not to do that. I’m not bipolar but I’m having periods of extreme anger, followed by an anxiety attack over and over all day. I’m on Zoloft and amitriptyline but I don’t think they are working. I’ve never experienced anger like this before and it hurts. Either I have intense anger or I’m crying.

[Zimarra]

I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. Is there a way you can write down your anger and see where it is coming from?

[DoodleMomma in reply to Zimarra]

Yes I could try that. In the middle of an aweful anxiety attack. I will try writing.

[Daveacr1959]

We are here for you, and we need you to know you will get better. Is that second medicine your on a tricyclic antidepressant? Please look it up. They are old school and not used much anymore. And I have never heard of it being used with the s s r i medicine? I’m no dr just they tried me on a lot of different antidepressants. Always one at a time. They tried me on all the old ones because the new ones didn’t work. The old ones were worse for me. I’m not saying that second med is a trycylic .. just look it up.., get 45 minutes of daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. We are here for you. We have seen people in really bad shape heal up just fine . And leave us behind.. lol.. that’s right I had a guy who was hanging by a thread.. found the right medicine.. and I don’t hear from him anymore.. he’s doing so good.. he left me back to struggle.. lol but that’s ok

[DoodleMomma in reply to Daveacr1959]

Thanks for your encouragement. The amitriptyline is a trycyclic antidepressant. I just looked it up. It’s supposed to make my Zoloft work better but today’s been rough. I’m on a constant rollercoaster of emotions, cried all the way through therapy, really ugly crying too. Wore myself out. I’m supposed to get on the treadmill when I feel the anger coming on or an anxiety attack. It does help. I just feel so alone and at times very lost. I’m crying nonstop right now. I have a promise with my therapist not to do anything to myself that would harm me in any way and I won’t break that trust we’ve built over many years. This new rollercoaster feeling is no fun at all and I don’t understand why it’s happening. Talked to my psychiatrist today too. She added a mood stabilizer and lowered the Zoloft. I’m so so ultra lonely.

[Daveacr1959 in reply to DoodleMomma]

Did the roller coaster begin with the tricyclic? Or have you been on it along time? You can live in a house full of people and still be lonely

[DoodleMomma in reply to Daveacr1959]

Yes it began 4-6 weeks after starting the tricyclics. I’ve never experienced these rapid mood swings before and never anger. I do understand that once I learn to love myself, the loneliness won’t be so bad. I have to like who I’m with.

[Daveacr1959 in reply to DoodleMomma]

Have you told your dr about what happen a month after taking that ? If not I would call tomorrow. I promise you if you excercise twice a day. Pushing yourself for time and not intensity.. like a marathon vs a sprint.. you will feel better in 2 days.. take 2 treadmills 1 every 12 hours and call me in the morning.. lol .. only you know your medicine and how you feel.. both medicines are very powerful.. maybe you felt better on just Paxil? If you had been talking it quite awhile. I just finished the elliptical machine and headed for the pool to swim a bit ..

[DoodleMomma in reply to Daveacr1959]

I will get on the treadmill more. It does seem to help the aggression and anger as well as the anxiety attacks. I will keep pushing myself to go farther and farther. Have a good swim!

[Daveacr1959 in reply to DoodleMomma]

It’s like the hamster, nobody forces her to run on the treadmill. She has figured out it makes her feel better and happy. One of my grown kids had a hamster when she was little. I heard that hamster wheel going 6 x a day it seems. In the middle of the night even. It’s like the horses on a farm. They like to be let out of the barn , so they can run around the fenced area, to burn off steam and feel better and happy. It’s like the people in prison. Excercise in thier cell and in the yard . For sanity not vanity. Jogging is best on treadmill. If you don’t jog just walk normal for an hour. You can pull a muscle trying to walk too fast on the treadmill. It’s meant for running or jogging or regular walking.., I have known many people hurt trying to walk fast vs jog

[DoodleMomma in reply to Daveacr1959]

I will do it. I’m a firm believer that it helps this rollercoaster.