Black and white thinking

[ziggypiggy]

A lot of us with mental health issues suffer from black and white thinking. Some if it's in the form of perfectionism where if just one aspect of something is missing or broken then the whole is worthless. Likely it's us we blame.

Balance is hard. Living in the gray area is hard.

I'm always thinking about how I can get across what my mental health is like to friends and family. They pretend like they understand, but I sure don't feel or see it in their responses or behaviors.

My new theory is, those who don't deal with severe mental health issues tend to only understand it with black and white thinking themselves.

On one end, they have there own experience with depression and anxiety, which is generally spotty, mild in nature and may resolve itself rather quickly.

On the other hand, they understand suicide. The final desperate act of someones mental struggles.

It's in between that they have a hard time comprehending. And that's where the rest of us live and breathe. It really doesn't compute to them no matter how often or detailed you describe things. So,

Next time I try to explain what's my struggles are and I get the usual response of " gee that sounds terrible, but stay positive you'll get through it".

I'm going to ask them to repeat back to me what I was trying to convey and what they think I'm feeling when I'm really struggling. I would be all ears to hear what they would have to say and how they would interpret it. Would they think or feel differently by having to do this? Really choose words carefully, empathically but without minimizing the seriousness of the narrative.

I think it would be helpful for both of us.

But I doubt I'll do it. I may get a response I'm not happy with. Then of course, perfect me = theory broken. Let's blame myself.

Ok. Rant over. Be well everyone.

[hypercat54]

I'm not sure there is any point in trying to explain it to those who clearly don't understand. Maybe what you could do is tell them what would help you when you are feeling this way, and what you would like them to say or do.

Like you said unhelpful answers make you feel invalidated so best to avoid them.

[b1b1b1]

Grey areas are very difficult to live with. People who suffer from depression often crave certainty. In many cases this is because they were not at all sure they were loved as children, and the fear of uncertainty carries into adulthood.

[Agora1]

I've long given up in trying to explain Anxiety to anyone who hasn't experienced it.Another answer that doesn't help when telling someone is "oh I get anxious too"...

Getting anxious and having anxiety are 2 different animals.

Why even try. Come here on this supported save place where we do understand

and we do truly care. xx