My anxiety and depression are like a roller coaster.

[UkyoCoanccy]

Hi

Since a week ago I have been in a doubt if I am pregnant or if is just coincidence.

First, my period did come on the date.

Second, I started to feel a lot of nauseous since 2 weeks ago.

So my mind did never stop thinking and worrying because I did not expected it. So, I got scared. What I was going to do. I can barely take care of my kid and myself due to our anxiety and my high depression. At the same time, I only have one kid and I am 37 years now. It would be beautiful being mom again.

Then the fear and worrying came back again. It was a mix of emotions every day. I used a pregnancy test but it did not say something clear.

After 6 days of getting crazy for it, I saw signs of my period, but in a different way, so it looks more like a misscarriage but I do not know. I have headache, cramps, I am not hungry. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor but meanwhile, my mind is getting crazy again. Just thinking:

Good! I am not pregnant.

Then sad because I was trying to plan my future with my new kid and probably it is a misscarriage.

When I knew that possibility, I felt like a huge a deep pain inside me. Did I lost my baby. Is he dead. I am too depressed. I am just crying almost all day. Just thinking in all the possibilities.

Also, if I am not pregnant and if all my symptoms are just a huge coincidence.....

I do not know if the pain will go away. I know that probably it is stupid that I am doing a drama of it, but it hurts. My mind does not stop.

I want to know what happened. It is difficult to wait until tomorrow.

I am scared.

Sorry

I just needed to share my worries.