Eating disorder

[Greengarden31]

My 13 year old daughter has been developing a sleeping disorder I don’t know what to do she has herself convinced she can’t eat more than a certain amount and that drinking water will help her lose weight. She doesn’t want to go to a therapist but I don’t know what other options that are available for this. We are working with a doctor to see if there is a medical reason but the doctor and I both believe it’s an eating disorder. She is 90 lbs and looks smaller all the time. Please any advise

[PastelPink20]

Hi Greengarden31! I’m sorry to hear about your daughter and I’m glad you’re working with a doctor for her.

It can be so hard to see what a loved one, a child, is going through and want to help them overcome what you know is a dangerous habit -> mental illness.

I have always been underweight... I’ve never had a normal BMI. Being underweight can impact so much of a person’s health. My eating issues have been more affected by stress or painful symptoms rather than a way to exercise control in my life or an obsession rooted in self esteem issues. I’m actually looking into IBS, endo, food intolerances as possibilities. But, I did go to an eating disorder therapy group that helped more than individual therapy.

Have you thought about getting her set up with a nutritionist? I don’t know if that would help immediately, as it might fuel calorie counting. Overall, information is power. She could become informed on foods that would increase her digestive system health or strengthen her bones or whatever and that might be a way to appeal to her and have a reason to eat. Or eat smaller meals (but super nutritious foods) throughout the day! Berry and kale smoothies for antioxidants, salmon with broccoli lunch for protein, cheese and nuts snack, and etc.

If she does keep losing weight and needs to be hospitalized or attend an in-patient eating disorder clinic, then she would be set up with a therapist and nutritionist (mandatory). So, she definitely will need a certain amount of encouragement but also tough love.

My friends in therapy had hospitalizations be like a waiting period that was helpful-ish for short term... but the real work and healing happens through continued effort at home.

Control issues, physical digestive issues, self esteem, body dysmorphia, body image, anxiety, obsessive thoughts... all of that can impact or be the root cause of an eating disorder so anything you can do to help those is going to be beneficial.

I wish you the best in caring for your daughter - I know the pain and difficulty for both parties is a lot.

[Agora1]

Hi Greengarden31, I wish I had an answer in what you can do to help your daughter. But without her willing to see a therapist, the sleeping and eating issues will continue to grow.

I know because my own daughter has suffered from Anorexia for over 10 years now.

(She is 5'3'' and weighs 74lbs)

She too refuses therapy. Medical doctors say there is nothing that can be done because unless she wants help, it can't be forced on her. Before she was 18, she was hospitalized

3 times because of severe electrolyte issues. Each time she ran away from the hospital

ward. Now that she is 29, a parent has no rights to force her unless she loses consciousness

and is transported by 911. Even with that, she would have the right to sign herself out.

I suggest that while your daughter is still only 13, work with your doctor in getting her

the help she needs. You have the right as her mother. It is a most difficult mental issue

to go through. My daughter also has sleeping problems due to her brain being starved

from not enough food.

HU has an Anorexic/Bulimia community that you may want to look into. You can find

it on "My Hub" at the top of the page.

From mother to mother, I understand what you are going through. To literally watch

your daughter disappearing in front of your eyes. It's a very stressful and scary situation.

Take care of yourself. Make sure you get the help you need to get through this.

I wish you and your daughter well. I hope you find the answers you need to help her

while you can. Keeping you in my thoughts xx

[Marnie22]

Hi. Have a look at this website. There is lots of info on the website, but the link is to their helplines page. beateatingdisorders.org.uk/... know they are good, when I was a teacher they came to fo a talk at our school. Rhe emotional background to the disorder needs to be addressed in order for change to be sustained. I know this from personal experience.

Very best wishes.