Therapy

[Sweetmango85]

What constitutes a good therapist? How do you know if the person is the right fit for you?

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Sweet Mango. It usually takes some time to know if you’ve got a really good fit with a therapist. There’s a few things to look for. Is she/he a good listener? Do they go beyond listening and ask you insightful questions? Are you comfortable trusting them with your innermost feelings, whatever they are? Answers to questions like these help you assess whether you have a good “connection” with your therapist. It is out of such a connection that amazing things can happen in terms of your emotional growth. You are the one who has to do the work, but a good therapist will guide you every step of the way. Many of us don’t have the luxury of “shopping around” for a good therapist. But to the extent possible, try to find one that understands you and above all, as I said before, that you trust.

[Sweetmango85 in reply to Catsamaze]

Thanks for your reply. You’ve given me a lot to consider while going through this process. You’re absolutely right like many, I neither have the luxury or the funds to shop around for a therapist. I just know I need help and this is a journey I need to go on.

[Rafiki11]

An empathetic person who listens and makes you feel not so alone. This person has wisdom to share but is the copilot while you’re the pilot.

[fauxartist]

For me it was all about trust...and compassion.... When I found my last therapist...they talked to me like a person...listened....but also gave me positive constructive input. Helped me understand things I could and could not change. And basically....I just liked them as a person not just my therapist but they were always professional. I felt comfortable sharing....that’s a good fit for me. I think you will have your own personal needs, and when you find that with a therapist…then hopefully you will also find some answers you need.

[Sweetmango85 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for this thoughtful response.

[fauxartist in reply to Sweetmango85]

I was always told that they are working to help you, and if you don't feel they are the right fit...it's okay to ask for someone else, and even if it takes a few trys ....that's okay....we are going to get help.

[NoHoWarrior]

For me, a good therapist is one that affects change in me.

There are foundational issues like trust that must be earned and established early in the relationship. I think there are a whole lot of us here that would say we have trust issues, so it is a critical point.

I've had therapists who simply go with the flow of what is on my mind at the time. In fact, I spent seven years with a therapist like that. I finally left him because it seemed we weren't getting anywhere.

My favorite thing about my current therapist is that he keeps goals in mind and tailors therapy accordingly.

For example, in the beginning, my goal was to find a romantic relationship... then it changed to staying alive... currently, it is my Mental Health above all else.

He takes on the role of ensuring I do not get off target from my current goal. We discuss what's been going on over the last week and any issues that arise, but he always takes the session back to the current goal. Asks what actions I'm taking to meet that goal, suggests actions, etc. He is very good at his job.

My therapist uses CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and I love the approach. It's very effective on me.

[Sweetmango85 in reply to NoHoWarrior]

Thank you for your reply. I really like the idea of setting goals. A goal oriented approach makes you feel like your accomplishing things and it may motivate people to do the work. This is something I may try to do for myself in order to track my progress in therapy.Thanks again!