I feel like the biggest failure

[fallen_leaf]

I can’t stop crying. It’s my 16th anniversary in a sexless marriage because I have no interest in sex. My already messed up husband is more messed up because of this and drinks to much. My oldest is always angry or sad and I find out two weeks before school ends that she has 6 0’s for not turning in work. Teacher never informed me but since I have access to grades online it’s my fault. My youngest suffers anxiety and is scared to be apart from me even for one second. I’m not talking to my “best friend” bc she treats me differently from her other best friend. My sister in law hates me because she think s I don’t do enough for my dad and leave all the pressure on my brother. My sister wants me to tell her all my problems so she can judge me and give me bad advice but she won’t tell us why she recently got a divorce from her husband who I’ve know since college. I have no tribe no village no motivation no energy

[Catatvet05]

Feel so bad reading your post. Thought I had problems. Your not a failure, having a family is bloody hard work.

It’s difficult to manage day to day with mental health. Take one step at a time, pirotise what needs to be done first. Maybe write down a list and go through it? You do need to be well yourself. Communicate with your family and talk through with them. Talk to your daughter’s teacher see if they can work something out?

Sending you gentle hugs.

[fallen_leaf in reply to Catatvet05]

Thank you. The teacher was not helpful at all. It’s a private school we can barely afford so now she’ll be on probation and then who knows kicked out.

[Catatvet05 in reply to fallen_leaf]

Could you speak to the head of school explain what has happened at home, maybe? They could take that into consideration? Every school has a duty of care to look out for their pupils/ students.

[Fearoffear]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't know if you are UK or USA, but I am in the USA. My youngest suffers Anxiety and Mood disorder. She tried to take her life at nine over it. She has been in counciling. Best thing was they helped me get into counciling for my sanity and gave us family based counciling to bring together the whole family and help find our weaknesses and strengths. Sounds like when you fly they say put in your oxygen mask before placing one in your child....same concept. They tell me when I'm sick the whole house is sick, cause momma brings the house together!! Take care of yourself, I'm here if you need to talk or come up with some plan to lessen your troubles. Gentle hugs🤗🤗

[hypercat54]

Oh dear I am sorry you are going through such a horrible time. It's not your fault that your husband drinks so please don't blame yourself for that. It is his choice how he deals with things and he has chosen the drink - you haven't.

I hope things pick up for you soon.

[Hidden]

rule out medical first, biologic or meds many things...........its not u or charactrer ...some people have no interest............so? stress...........find an expert in that area........try not to be too hard on yourself.........really could be many bioligcal reasons..........

[bluenote]

Try not to be concerned about what others think (which I know is hard). It sounds like you are doing your best to raise your family which is a great sacrifice you are making for them. God loves you. I will pray a rosary for you. Hope you feel better soon.

[FOF9303]

Oh I am so sorry that you are going through a difficult season right now. Sometimes it certainly feels like we are getting dumped on all at once. I remember a season in my life when I felt like everyday a new problem turned up, some kind of new chaos that always kept me on my toes and my nerves on edge. Thank goodness that season passed. I relied on my faith during that time... sheesh I don't think I would have been able to make my way through the mess then without it. Sometimes its okay to take a break and choose some care. Read through this here bit.ly/2SPcMGE. Take baby steps and pick one thing to start working on ... call your doctor and discuss your lack of libido and tell your husband that you are going to look into it. Call your sis and say you want a heart to heart... Just pick somewhere to start and you will work your way through it. You got this! Blessings to you.