So over a week ago I posted on here with a dilemma on my hands. I had to decide to either move out and start physical therapy school this year or wait a year and try to save more/get into a cheaper program
I ended up talking to my parents and they told me that they'd prefer me to start this year. So I'll be starting next month at a program very close to home. I wish that the program could be farther away but, the farther away, the more expensive it is. And I have to be realistic: debt in my future profession is incredibly huge. PTs make around 67k starting out, yet the programs away from me cost 130k total, not including the cost of living (shoots up to 150k...with interest can be even higher). PTs end up burning themselves out, moving back in with parents, and over working just to pay everything off. Point is, when I leave for school, I don't plan on coming back permanently again, nor do I want to put myself in danger of being more depressed after school.
I talked to my parents about this: not necessarily refusing to come back, but mostly the amount of debt I would owe and how realistic I could be. By Gods grace they agreed to help me with the costs of school for this first year while I figure everything out. And the program that is close to home comes out to 83k, which is more realistic. If I can keep costs of living low, I'd like to keep my debt under 100k.
They also agreed to let me stay off campus. My mom was trying to have me stay at home, but with COVID, I explained that everything would have to be done in a lot of quiet. That shut her up immediately.
I won't lie to you, part of me is so jealous of the PT students who have supportive parents and big enough homes to save on costs. But people here, in this support group, helped me realize that the toxicity at home isn't worth it. My parents argue at specific times of the day and I have to listen to the drama of it when I get home after a long day of work. My mom subtly follows me around the house, complaining as she goes and "fixing" all of the crowds of miscellaneous items she's hoarded over the years. Whenever someone comes back from a long day, you're introduced to her own "problems" that never end. At the most inconvenient times, my father asks for help with the divorce, even though I've wanted no part of it from the beginning. And everything is gross and not clean because my dad doesn't wash his hands ever
Everything at home stresses me out. It's gotten to a point where my face is in a permanent scowl. I know I have to leave.
I just came here to update and say thank you to everyone. It's crazy that an outside perspective would be so valuable. My brother sort of swayed his advice to me to have me stay for another year (he's 30, I'm 24) My mom wants me to stay too. When it feels like everyone living around you doesn't want something, it's easy to fall into the same trap. But no more. From now on, I'm doing whatever I can to leave. Everyone here was right, nothing about my depression would change if I stay. And making active choices that can help me move out has given me hope. Why did I think it was a good idea to stop now? Thank goodness I don't have to.
Thank you to everyone here for giving me the insight I didn't know I needed. Thank you to everyone for seeing what I couldn't see. Thank you for the support you give to everyone in this group. This group has always helped me in tough times, and this one was no different.
You are all amazing, you are all greatly appreciated and loved. I'm wishing the best for everyone here and thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.