Have you got more parts within your personality?

[chosinay]

I just ask it.

[Rafiki11]

I think everyone has this to one extent or another. Have you watched the kids movie Inside Out?

When people experience trauma, those parts become more separated...to the point of disassociation in extreme cases.

Trauma researchers say that survivors often have at least three “selfs.”

The exile is the true self. Your inner child. The self that was hurt. This self is felt to be vulnerable and fragile so the person hides this self.

The manager is the self most people see. It could be a perfectionist side or even an abusive side.

When there is a trigger that signals danger, the manager self gives way to the fire fighter self. This self behaves recklessly to restore a sense of equilibrium. Binge drinking, affairs, risky behavior....

[Rafiki11 in reply to Rafiki11]

I definitely have found this to be true for me. My manager side is definitely a perfectionist with OCD. I want to make 100% not just an A so people will know I have value. I want my house to be clean and spotless. I want to be a perfect wife so I can avoid fear of abandonment or betrayal. I want to be a perfect mom so my kids will never do drugs or commit crimes.

My firefighter side varies. I still have some self control when that side takes over but I have urges to shut down and disassociate or lash out and take aggressive action.

My exile side got really angry and hurt when I became a mother. She saw my kids receiving the care she never got. She didn’t know what she had missed out on until she saw my kids being nurtured emotionally.