If I fall back down: 100% med free. No... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

91,949 members85,862 posts

If I fall back down

21 Replies

100% med free. No more brain zaps. No more numbness. It is a weird place to recover from a dark hole.....because people are no longer empathetic to your mental illness. “Ah they must be cured they don’t seem suicidal and gloomy anymore!”

But that’s just it.

Nobody cares when you’re well.

It took so long to get “WELL!?”

All those people who reached out their hand when they heard you had “DEPRESSION?!?!?”

They don’t reach out a second time.

You fall back down?

You’re on your own.

Frustrated sorry love y’all❤️🙏

21 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi Pittiedad, did people really care or understand when in the throws of mental health issues? I'm assuming you got where you are by yourself. Congrats on that :)

Hopefully, you now have the tools to keep yourself afloat. If not, it's a good time before

you might need it, to check out some support methods on YouTube.

Should you fall back down (and it could happen) you will be able to pick yourself up and continue on your own. It's best to not expect people to reach out and help since it may

only cause you hurt and frustration.

We continue to support you and others who from time to time may find a glitch in the road.

Don't forget that we care and we do understand if we fall, we may need that extended hand

to get up again. I'm happy for you and proud that you got off your meds. Good Luck :) xx

in reply to Agora1

I really needed someone to relate is all dear Agora1.

Why can we not simply open up the horror show upstairs and show it to people like pages on a book and say “this is why I’m quiet lately”

in reply to Agora1

For now I’ll float in like modest mouse

in reply to Agora1

Thank you for taking the time out of your day. It is beyond measurable for me in the kindness column.

You are a great human Agora

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Pittiedad, I hope my words are like a "hug" that brings you a peace in knowing

there are people on this site who feel your emotions. I just happen to be one of them.

Happy Monday! You deserve a "me" day :) xx

Being 100% med free is something that you have accomplished, by yourself, for yourself, and it is quite the accomplishment. I know this from experience.

No, you do not fall back down. You continue the journey to healing yourself. What I have learned is that we only have ourselves, we are the directors of our lives. If others are there for us, then lovely, it helps. But, if they are not, then we keep going, despite their absence.

I love how you express yourself, Pittiedad9.

in reply to

Thanks you so much....sorry it took so long to say 🙏🙏

in reply to

No apology needed. You are very welcome. 🌿

Opportunity profile image
Opportunity

YES!!!!! I think I understand this. You’re at the next step! I believe it’s finding “friends.” Proverbially or literally, your friends aren’t the guards, doctors, and nurses anymore. 😉

I completely empathize, as that has been my experience as well. I mostly feel alone in my struggle with depression and anxiety, but I tend to forget there are people here who almost always reply and reach out. Sometimes it might take a day or so. You mention brain zaps...that can only be Effexor haha. I was on that too and even a decade later I still sometimes get those weird swishy brain zaps. It's good not to be on that anymore. I also hope you are able to stay above the water for a long time, but if you sink a bit reach out here again, and remember this time, while you are well. It can serve as a reminder that you can be okay, a lifeline of sorts.

in reply to

Cymbalta zaps. Plus I’m a commercial carpenter. They are fun when you are operating aerial lifts 🤷🏻‍♂️check my page for a few doggos in there somewhere!!!❤️❤️🥇🙏

Just noticed your name too lol. Let's see some pics of your pitbull doggos!

JohnPB profile image
JohnPB

Hi, I have been medication free for a year and a half. Exercise helps me feel better mentally and physically. Sorry to hear others are not there for you now that you are in a better place. I had electroconvulsive therapy about 3 years ago. I am thankful to God that my brain appears to not be suffering any negative long term effects.

in reply to JohnPB

I had never traveled that road.

I ate Vicodin for about 8 years daily. Stuffing emotions in a jar and escaping with opioids and hard work.

When I crashed I checked into ER went to center for few days and got on meds. I had tried meds as a teen briefly but hated them.

This was first time I gave it a good go.

Was great at first.

Didn’t feel any shame until I tried to drop them.

Then oh boy. Hello craziness.

Hello zaps.

Hello panic.

Thank god for good old fashioned Mary Jane.

One thing that has never pushed my hand away in this lifetime ❤️

I coach a kids lacrosse team,

Go to gym every spare chance I get.

Barely touch alcohol anymore.

Give me weed and fun shit to do and I’m not bothering ANYBODY! Lol

JohnPB profile image
JohnPB in reply to

Getting the right type of meds and dosage can be challenging.

in reply to JohnPB

There is never a right “dose”

Only an “accepted” dose by the taker.

Racey or spacey?

Feelings or no?

At least med free it’s all there for me to deal with without wonder of “is this just a side effect or am I actually getting worse””?!?

in reply to

I’ve had too many in my family tree die by their own hand chasing the right dose

JohnPB profile image
JohnPB in reply to

I hear what your saying. Doctor's do the best they can. Some people do better on different meds and dosages because peoples body chemistry differ.

But depression has been that one thing I refuse to let go. It’s my heartbeat. It is the main priority every day.

How do I find that reason to not skydive into a volcano because sometimes I just DO NOT CARE.

Bless you all thanks for caring for an OLD DOGGIE

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

But we Do care Pittiedad9 :) xx

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

Absolutely true, I recovered successfully from a pretty serious episode In 2015. Great support back then. Then when I was bullied at work last year, apart, luckily fom my very good husband who Totally got how I felt, it didn't seem to occur to my siblings that it could lead to a further breakdown.

I'm almost certain their attitude is the Lithium will do all the work.

They never go into feelings or suggest any beneficial activities for me. I am lucky to be able to explore things for myself. I dread to think what life would be like if I was single, though, and depending on them. They definitely mean well, but their attitude to mental health seems to be in the Stone Age.

Being Bipolar, I need to be on the Lithium, and dosage is small. I am lucky Lithium suits me. I am very wary of trying therapy. I think I am reaching my own solutions.

You seem to be working through things well.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

I just feel so alone

Sorry for the long post Ever have anything happen & people look at you like you’re crazy? Even if...

I went to a Wilderness Therapy camp. It was bad.

First off, let’s hear it for my first post. Yay. For context, I’m an 18 yr old cis white male. I...

Forgiveness

The idea of forgiveness struck me this morning. Forgiveness is powerful. It allows us to let...

Troublesome

* I’m hanging in there* this have been my reply for weeks now when someone or my therapist wants to...

There’s Another Side to Every Story

I’ve seen lots of posts about people having trouble with relationships and family. We can’t always...