Listening to this psychologist, Dr. Ramani, is what keeps me sane in this crazy world.youtu.be/TN9kssb-STc
I think dealing with narcissists is a... - Anxiety and Depre...
I think dealing with narcissists is a big cause of mental illness.
28 Replies
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I have seen this lady before, she's excellent and has such a calming voice and humour too. I think the only really true Narcissist I encountered was last year. That person was so sugar-coated. A wolf in sheep's clothing. They were like a Jekyll and Hyde.I was only briefly working for one, so I can only imagine the pain and confusion of growing up with one or being in a relationship with one. On listening to Dr. Ramani just now, I had forgotten about the prevalence of Narcissists in clubs or even church groups, probably would not have recognised them in that capacity before.
Frightening that Narcissists are often very successful and leaders, and are so respected by society. It means people in general are more likely to believe the Narcissist's lies about you, so the Narcissist can easily colour society's view of you, perhaps leading to you being the subject of false gossip and maybe poor treatment.
This poor treatment, loss of confidence and perhaps undeserved ostracism can most definitely be a cause of depression. The damage Narcissists can cause is truly scary.
• in reply toRoxylox
My dad is definitely narcissistic. He thinks the world revolves around him, and he can be very verbally abusive. My mom has bipolar disorder, she's caring but she acts very strange sometimes, and she won't leave my dad even though she's seriously threatened to a couple times. I'm the scapegoated child that always gets caught in the middle of their arguments. I have to live with my parents these days and I'm worried that I will never get away from them, especially my dad. When I was 16 I made a couple of half hearted attempts at running away from home, I started acting strange and falling asleep in class because I wasn't liking school at all anymore and felt too pressured to get good grades in subjects I hated, and then my parents hospitalized me and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That totally disrupted my life. Even today, I constantly feel stifled by both of them, they like me better when I'm quiet and I don't make waves. They don't love me unless I'm doing chores for them or I have my hair and makeup done the way my mother likes to see me. They are both full of broken promises to me. My mom enables my dad, so really even though she acts more loving she's just as bad as he is sometimes. My dad is very controlling, I get so angry with his nasty attitude, he's 80 now and he's always smoked and I know this is terrible to say but I feel like I'm just wishing he would die. He's not going to change. That's the thing about narcissists, you keep hoping that one day they'll realize how they're treating you and change what they're doing or apologize, and it never happens. They just want you to fluff their ego and when you don't they turn on you and target you. This is what I've had to deal with my whole life and that coupled with moving around a lot when I was young and being bullied in school, I feel like it's no wonder I have bipolar disorder and I'm nervous around a lot of people. My parents treat me like I'm the problem when in a lot of ways they are the culprits. I suppose it could have been worse and I could have been physically or sexually abused, but psychological abuse is very real and very damaging in itself. I need to get some kind of career going for myself to finally break free of needing my parents help, and I don't know if I can ever do it.
Roxylox• in reply to
I really feel for you. You shouldn't have to deal with such crap at this stage of your life. You're right that psychological abuse is very hurtful too. Feel free to vent any time
• in reply toRoxylox
Aww, thanks. I didn't mean to rant on, it's just that so many people do not understand where I'm coming from sometimes. I used to have my own apartment and my own car 3 years ago and I've lost both of those things. I don't want to come off like I'm not grateful that my parents are letting me live with them, because otherwise I'd be truly homeless right now and that would be even worse. It's just not good for me to be around them. I'm saving up some money and hopefully I'll at least be able to get a used car by the end of the summer, and I want to get some kind of job but right now I'm very emotional and I think I need some therapy before I can have the confidence to try to ace a job interview. Thanks for the support!!!!🙂
Roxylox• in reply to
Anytime, good luck with the car. Its probably hard for two different generations to live in harmony with each other no matter what the personalities
Sooooooo true. I went through this at work and literally watched the narc play everyone and their games while I was bullied ostrcized and destroyed it still affects me to this day to an extreme extent. Because of my childhood I can see a narc right away while others are charmed away. Once they realize I won't kiss their but they try to destroy me. And when u fight back nobody believes you
It is so scary the way they operate, isn't it. I think my name is mud in local circles now because of this person, but I have resolved to rise above it. How long has. It been since your work incident? , mine seems pretty fresh at under a year
Over ten years. Now I still avoid them but have learned how to stay off radar more
I definitely think that’s true. Especially when the narcissist is your parent.
• in reply toRafiki11
Yes, and the issue is never them and their behavior, you are always made to feel like something is wrong with you and you're the problem.
I think that is one of the truest statements I've ever read. I have talked about and studied narcism for so long. And I know narcisstc abuse to the extreme. I worked in a domestic violence agency for over 4 years and basically domestic violence is another word for narcisstc abuse
I wouldn't say it's a bad trait, you're a truth teller. But you really have to be careful with some people. Narcissists don't mess around, their vindictive and manipulative, they have no remorse or empathy and they are energy vampires. It's best just to steer clear of them so they don't come after you. But that being said, I believe if no one has the courage or conviction to stand up to these absolute bullies then you're going to have people like Hitler running the world. They don't walk away quietly, they're entitled brats. I KNOW I shouldn't bring this up but I'm going to anyway, we've all witnessed all the damage Donald Trump has caused. You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Still, it's important to pick your battles. I would say I'm an empath and narcs just love to go after people like me. I'm not the kind of person that's after popularity and having 10 million Facebook friends and I'm the kind of person who will befriend the kid everyone else loves to pick on because I was raised by my mother to be kind and treat everyone with equality. Narcs are all about domination and control, someone like me upsets their apple cart. But I don't let stuff like that get to me anymore, some people are best to be laid to rest in the past and you just have to live your life. But it is quite challenging having a parent like this. I don't make a big effort to try to win over my dad anymore, I let him be and if my parents start fighting I've learned the hard way to just stay out of it. It's usually more about them and the kind of people they are than me.
Cariss• in reply to
Again you are hitting the same points I want to say. I cannot tell you how bad 2016 to 2020 were. Triggered every single day. And look at all the people who enabled him and look at the lives careers and reputations he destroyed. Look at how he cons. Textbook definition
Yes!!!! I'm understand. Maybe we can't stand to see injustice but I can not state how much I know and understand what u r saying it is beyond frustrating when you are the only one is stands up to a bully. And yes they don't say anything because they fear them but I can't stand back. I have about as much respect for the ones who do nothing as the bully himself
• in reply toCariss
Yeah! And Hidden raises a good point too, that they are dangerous. I think the more people who recognize and know how to handle things like gaslighting and truth-twisting, the better off we’ll all be. 👍🌿🦋
Cariss• in reply to
Yes. I've learned now to stay off the radar more to avoid them. Do not engage in any way. They are dangerous
Integrity and decency are not bad traits !!
Thank you for introducing me to Dr Ramani. Even though my and my friends’ current stress sources probably aren’t narcissists, the different behaviors and family role descriptions are pretty helpful.
I’ve had this sense of “degrees of separation” from some kind of drama-person often, as in, “This person is OK themselves, but they are under the influence of someone who’s not, and their boundaries leak, and some of it is getting through to me.”
Have you listened to Dr. Todd Grande? What do you think of him?
Hi there, how have you been?
Are you calmer now??? Take it easy on yourself.
Okay good luck. I know how seeing a dentist is not the most pleasant thing!!!!
Yeah, I hear what you're saying. Root canals and all that aren't always covered and no one likes to lose their teeth. I lost a tooth last year, nothing could be done to save it. It's not too noticable when I smile but it still really bugs me. Found out that trying to get some dental implant costs around $3,000!!!!! You could try looking into some forms of dental insurance where you might not have to pay too much per month and at least some procedures wouldn't cost so much. And of course like any good dentist would say, take care of your teeth!!!! Watch how much sugar you eat, brush and floss twice a day. I know how some of these toothpastes and dental rinses can be more money, but I do get the Sensodyne toothpaste and ACT fluoride rinse because I'm not crazy about being in a dentist chair either!!!
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