A little while later

[mindofmoss]

I wrote here a while ago in regards to feeling extremely lonely, luckily, now I’ve been able to find someone who alleviates the feeling but I’m still lonely.

I’m so anxious at the moment and I just need someone to tell me it’s ok! I deal with derealization issues which makes things feels like I’m stuck in a dream or unreal; everything just feels surreal and the feeling is intensified when I have nightmares and when I’m tired (like I am right now). Are there any spaces here that are focused on that?

I post this here because I don’t want to drain the only other person in my life who cares for me, even though that’s probably not true. I’m still learning to deal with shame issues I have of myself, like feeling like I’m a burden to others. I know I have to do things on my own but sometimes I can’t deal with the anxiety alone as well as I’d like. I’ve dealt with this alone since I was 13 and I’m 24 now and it’s not getting easier yet, maybe some day.

Anyone else in this spot? It’ll be nice to know.

Thanks!

[bytesized]

Hey! There's a couple feelings I understand and a few I can't relate to. I don't know what it feels like to live in a derealized reality (and I'm a little new here, so I don't know of where to point you to).

But I have felt like I was a burden before. The people in my life who were supposed to be close to me didn't do the best job of being there for me, and they expressed disinterest or annoyance when I came to them with my problems, so what ended up happening, is that I needed to figure everything out myself. It's kinda tough when it's just you by yourself. I've had some real dark moments in my life when I wish I had someone there for me, but there wasn't anyone.

I'd say being able to just talk about your issues with someone is just a great step in feeling better. Nobody knows each other here, so feel free to share as much or as little as you want (making sure to not give out any identifying information of course). If that doesn't sound like your style, I would write in a journal, or write letters to people (that I would never send) to help process what I was going through.

Congratulations on finding someone that gives you a bit of company! It's all about the baby steps. Keep at it. You're doing great! If you keep at it, making all of these baby steps, eventually, everything is gonna be fine, and manageable.

[mindofmoss in reply to bytesized]

Thank you for being kind! I’ve been in therapy for 3 years now and I’m slowly learning how to less afraid of being more social and having my critical voice be a bit more quiet lol. I admire your strength to go through it alone! I don’t know you experience but I know that takes an extreme amount of courage and resilience to do things alone!! Thanks for your suggestions! I’ll probably post more here and journaling helps me a ton!! Thank you for reading!!