How to get support and deal with resent during depression?

[InSearchOfFreedom]

Hello, I'm new here

Glad to see a group of people supporting one another. Do any of you who suffer depression have advice for how to let people into your life to support you when you feel closed and resentful because of how these people weren't there before?

When I am depressed I need people around me, caring for me and generally being with me...but I live alone and find it really hard to ask for that kind of care. And just wish and hope that my close friends would be able to do it without asking. During a depression episode in October and November I tried to reach out to people by telling them how down I was feeling and people kept saying 'I'm sorry, let me know if there's anything I can do". For me, especially in my depressed state, these type of responses trigger abandonment and rejection wounds and it's almost impossible to ask for what I need-which is someone to come over and be with me.

Now here I am again, in an acute state of depression and received the same comment from my little sister "I noticed you were really down today. Let me know if there's anything I can do'". And again, it made me feel horrible that she wouldn't just take the initiative and come over and be present.

I don't know how to get over my feelings of hurt, rejection and resentment towards this type of response. And my maybe unrealistic expectation of people knowing what to do?

And overall...I end up feeling more alone and depressed that ever.

Please help me think about this situation in a different way!

Thank you!

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome

Sorry you are feeling alone. This site is here to help. I am sure you will find people who you will connect with. Regarding your worry that people are not helping you the way you want. Please understand that people often don't know how to help another unless they are taught how to. Many times when people come to me and ask for help, I ask them how I should help them sometimes because as people we have different ways we want to be helped. Some like to been touched, others want to be called and still others want to receive texts. So let them know how you want to be supported and comforted. Even here sometimes people do posts when they want support and some of us, particularly me, I usually ask em how they want me to help em bcz I wouldn't know and wouldn't want to go above their limit. So, u need to realize that. Welcome again, we are happy to have you in this community. People here are very loving and caring you will see it for yourself.

[EuroJoy]

I am sorry you are feeling alone and are going through depression. It can be so tiring on the mind and soul, being depressed. And our depressed minds also start thinking of things sometimes which may or may not be true but have the power to get us even more down. Maybe try next time someone asks you to let them know how they can help, ask them to just visit you and hang out with you for some time. Because some company would help you. There is no harm in asking for help. Otherwise people often don't know how to help other people. I do hope you have a few people who would take the time out to just hang out with you. Blessings.