Feeling so useless lately

[Bookmage98]

It's been really difficult finding a job while I wait for school to reopen, so it feels like I've been doing nothing for months. Today my dad said he didn't want to give me so much money anymore, and that I should pay for my own therapy from now on. I feel so terrible, both because I'll probably have to quit therapy before I'm ready and because I feel so guilty about wasting so much of my parents' money while I contribute nothing to my family or the world. I know my parents want me to start working harder on finding a job and earning money on the side, but most of these jobs demand so much in terms of availability that I don't think I could do it with where I am mentally. I'm also just not at the point where I can put in tons of work each day and look after myself. It feels like all I do is let my family down. I don't even think I deserve to feel better anymore cause I've just been bothering everyone while trying to get over my anxiety and depression. Sometimes it feels like I'm a waste of space with no purpose in life.

[pam4him]

First, please stop downing yourself. You are ill, and it's likely not your fault. There are things you can try with the parents and the therapist. Ask for a cost break on therapy, or maybe less sessions-every other week instead of every week for example. On the job, look for part time jobs requiring 20 hrs or less. Be honest when interviewed - I plan to go back to school so I can only do 4-5 hrs per day. This also helps you not get overwhelmed with long days. Most employers will understand that. If not, it's not meant for you to work there. Lastly, ask your parents if they would reconsider, maybe not pay for something else instead of therapy while you job hunt. Now this will require you to actively job hunt and perhaps take something for now that you're not thrilled about, but try to do it anyway. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like to get to things we do. Prayers for wisdom, guidance, the right job and understanding for all involved.