hello,
i have so many things on my mind.
i want to say to you to remove them off my chest. i smoke and i want to stop smoking. i feel some heat in my chest sometimes and i am very worried this comes from a problem in the heart. i am so parno about it.
i have this thought about a friend that he will say about me i am lazy, i am not a good friend. i don't want to change. i care so much about his opinion about me. i refused to go out with him because he is so bossy and he stresses me. i have guilt that i am closing doors in front of me and i am choosing to be lonely. but i hate this guy, he is so bossy and he is aggressive and wants to judge people.
i have also to pay debts to my bank, i sent them the money but i have to send again because my account is closed and i have to pay the credit cards with debts by other means. it stresses me out.
i sleep at 3 am and wake up at 4 pm and i feel so much guilt. i am in holidays so i should chill out.
i read that someone replied to me and said i am overstressed. but i disliked reading this about myself. i wish someone tells me you are a good person and you are resisting stress very well. you are a great guy and a you handle stress very well. i have a stong stress resilience. this is what i wish to hear from people.
i feel lonely and i have so much internal critic that i am a lazy person and that i don't do things that i should do. that i am a lazy person.
i want to be a relaxed person who enjoys life. i want to feel that calmness in my head. i feel so much internal critic from myself. the threat voice is so strong.
i am trying to be compassionate with my self. looking from the top of my hill to all this and saying i am managing this so well.
thank you in advance for encouraging me. i need encouraging words.
thanks,
peace aries