how to communicate with other human being?

Hello everyone. This is my second time posting here. I have a little problem with myself that i wanted to share with all of you. Maybe you can help me too.

Let's just get to the point...here's the thing...when im mad with someone i cant say or i cant find the right the words to talk to them why im mad. I'm frustrated enough to scream my hearts out but my lips just wont say a goddamn thing and it makes me more frustrated. and sometimes because of it..i often crying in the end bcs i hate myself soooo much. like come on youre mad, youve had enough of this so tell them all of it. BUT I CANT. when i talk and i start stuttering it makes me look stupid and it makes no sense. so my chest feel so heavy. "why you cant talk without stuttering and looking stupid?" "you have all the things you wanted to say in your brain but why cant you say it?"

for example: i just fought with my mom. she said something that hurt my feelings. so i tried to talk back to her but i ended up talking like a freaking five year-old and then i cried right at that moment because i hate my mom and i hate myself for not talking like a freaking goddamn 24 year old.

and because of my lack of communication with other people its so hard for me to reach out for help too. even to my best friend.

anyway, merry christmas to all of you.

[Hurricular]

You're not alone. Few people are good at communicating when emotions are high. Some of us clam up. Other people go to the other extreme and shout and bully.

One thing that might be helpful is later, when you're alone and the emotions have settled down a little bit, write out whatever you're are thinking and feeling about that encounter. What was it that made you so angry? What would you like to tell the other person if you could communicate perfectly in that time of anger? Write it all out.

Later, if you want to, if the relationship is important enough, you could share what you've written (or parts of it) with the other person. Or not.

Just getting the words out on paper can be healing enough. Just know that you _can_ communicate. But there are many ways of communicating. And if communicating through speaking does not go well, try writing. If that doesn't do it, try drawing or painting or clay or sculpture or dancing or some other way to express your anger and frustration.

[jessicjames]

Hey! It's complete;y okay. If you're having such a situation. Remember this too shall pass! I think something from your past has left its impact on your life. You know the person who doesn't extend the argument and remains quiet is the most respectable one but yes I understand in certain situations you've to give others a shutup call. And that is very necessary. You should talk to people, a piece of very effective advice would be to try helping people with mental illness. Especially anxiety and depression. I used to stammer a lot because of my parent's separation left a huge impact on my mental health. So after struggling for 6 years I finally took a stand for myself, I started socializing and started vlogging along with writing. I wrote several things. My depression surviving journey and ways of healing. This is considers the best of all mangoclinic.com/an-ultimate... , must give it a read.

So I would recommend you to make your own story and rule it. You're the hero of your life. Let people say whatever they want, don't try to compete them. Speak where it is necessary. Make your words valuable. Start vlogging , the world need your kind words, don't waste them on useless issues and people! Stay strong , stay blessed!

Merry Christmas! <3

[propjock]

I think Hurricular has a good path. When our emotions are high, the rest of our body is taking all the oxygen and nutrients from our thinking and speaking brains. Also, at 24 years old, we are very new to the role of “adult child.” Even if childhood was good, our minds tend to go back to “kid mode.” That happens even when childhood was happy!

Imagine a friend who had not run since they were a kid. They entered a 10K race, couldn’t finish, and come to you, gingerfriedpork, frustrated, and crying, “I’m the worst athlete ever!” What would you kindly tell your good friend?

You need to train for this. Like Hurricular says, “Write it out,” or jessicjames says, “Talk it out” into a camera or phone, when you’re calm. You don’t even need to show the journal or video to anyone. This is getting your emotions and thinking in shape, which includes understanding how you got hurt and what untrue statements are now stuck in your memory.

Writing and talking helps you recognize the incorrect thoughts for what they are. You can re-write or re-record as much as you need to or want to. Get help from a trained person if that’s available to you (it sure should be, like basic body health care should be, but that’s another rant...)

While you’re training, there’s still that relationship and that talk you’re not ready for yet. I can recommend goodreads.com/book/show/944.... It is a Christian book, but the principles work the same for anybody. You can have a short, rehearsed, kind, firm, thing to say when a conversation or entire relationship gets to be too much.

Then the conversation itself may require some preparation, too. A book I like is, goodreads.com/book/show/774.... If available, get trained help. Who decided it’s a sign of weakness when a person works with a therapist? It’s the opposite of weakness. It’s commitment.

Believe it or not, you control the pace. Your friend won’t be ready for their next race in a week, and neither will you. And that relationship that’s been 24 years going bad isn’t going to be repaired in one conversation. A pro wouldn’t promise that, even if both people were ready! So don’t expect that of yourself, either.

The world has not heard the last from you, gingerfriedpork. You are 24 and far from being goddamned, you are loved by God. This party’s just getting started.

[Hidden]

Have you thought of writing a small letter if you can't voice your anger or disappointment?