Some holidays thoughts

[PeaceArie]

I have a lot on my plate at the moment. It is the holiday period and i am a bit stressed. I don't really know why but i am stressed.

Let's start with the work. I was responsible of the technical tests for a specific machine. It was really stressful and i did work in the weekend. I was able to finish my part and i was happy about it. But the thing is i told my boss i want to stop and finish the job because i was at the edge of burning out. So i finished my part and that was is. I removed outlook and teams from my mobile. I told myself i need to disconnect. I felt guilty that i disappeared suddenly like this. I felt guilt that maybe my boss says i am not responsible and i disappeared like this. That i was not available until i make sure the tool has been shipped. That i should give a little bit more. I told myself i should be compassionate with myself and it's ok to disconnect. You did your part of the job and that was enough.

The other thing i have on my shoulders is my holidays. There is this friend that i see in my city. He proposed for us to go visit a city nearby. The thing is that i need to change. But this guy is really stressful, he keeps saying bossy things to me and i hate it. He always pushes me why i did not do the driving license exam. He stresses me out. I want to go visit new places but i feel it is very stressful with him. I don't like someone who is tough and irritated easily. If i go out with him on an hour or so it's ok. But a full trip 24h with him it is impossible. I can't stand him. I feel he is stressing me out and i can't imagine having a trip with him. He is someone who like to be bossy on people and who is very tough. I don't feel comfortable traveling with him. He stresses me out and he makes it hard for me to like him.

On other topic on my mind is my girlfriend. She lives in a city on the other part of the country. I am going to see her for the first time. I am afraid what she will say about me. Will she say i am fat? Will she say i am smelling smoking? Will she reject me. I am a bit nervous of seeing her. i feel that i am worried a bit, not anxious but worried.

In general i want to change a lot of habits in my life. I don't want to stress myself, i want to do it step by step and be mindfull about my life.

Thanks everyone,

Peace Aries

[WestyCMass]

Sorry you have so much anxiety. I find when I get in that space it is good to just focus on the hour (or thing) directly ahead of you. It is fine to take a break from work, especially during the holidays. Maybe you could tell your friend 24 hours is too much during a pandemic. And about your girlfriend, you are worrying about things she may never say so maybe wait to you see her. I know it is easy for me to say these things. I need to take my own advice, to be honest. It is a hard time of year to suffer with depression and anxiety. Mine are both high. I going to take my own advice and focus on the next hour only, good luck.

[PeaceArie in reply to WestyCMass]

thanks a lot Westy, it helps

[jessicjames]

This is something you're overstressing about a lot. I know our lives are always overwhelmed with so much stress and we spend half of our lives sorting things out. I can understand the job pressure and what happens to everyone. If we are working in an organization under someone's supervision no matter what we have to obey them. It can get so frustrating sometimes when people boss you around. I don't know what's keeping you stick to such people? You have freedom of liberty, freedom of actions, freedom of speech. You can make new friends, you can change your company. Make people who would lift you up instead of lowering you. As far as I came to know you in one reading is, you're over-stressing about many things. You should love yourself and confess whoever you are. Be yourself. Please take care of your world inside of you, so that you can take care of your world outside of you. If you can't be yourself just be someone you admire.

Talk to someone who would help you in every possible way, anxiety and depression are very life-threatening, it can kill you inside slowly. mangoclinic.com/anxiety-man... I'm sharing this with you knowing it will help you out.

One last thing, if you wish to change, change in a good and positive way. You're best the way you're created!

Have the best holidays,

Merry Christmas.

[PeaceArie in reply to jessicjames]

jessicjames thank you so much for your advice...it is true i am overstressing about many things...thanks for your tips

[jessicjames in reply to PeaceArie]

No problem! Wish you good luck!