Weak support system and abandonment - Anxiety and Depre...

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Weak support system and abandonment

Krismc88 profile image
8 Replies

Hello I am completely new to here as well as any support groups what so ever. I am a single mom and coming out of a bad relationship as well as sometimes drink to cure anxiety though it obviously doesn’t solve anything. I have almost no relationship with my mom and had a rough one with my dad ( though he passed away 1.5 months ago from cancer). I’ve never really been told I love you or cared about from either parent. My moms an alcoholic. I just feel lonely and sad.

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Krismc88 profile image
Krismc88
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8 Replies
FearIsALiar profile image
FearIsALiar

Welcome to the group! Many users on here offer great support.

Sounds like you’ve been going through a bit of a rough time. I know how it feels being lonely and sad but remember you are definitely not alone! 💗

Keep reaching out on here for support 😊 We are happy to help you.

Marysblue profile image
Marysblue

Welcome to the group

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Welcome new friend :)

I am sorry for the loss of your father.

Your mother's relationship is Alcohol and I feel for you. It's a competition that you can't

win. Drinking as you know doesn't solve anything and can just feed into your anxiety making you feel more alone and sad.

How sad to never have been told you are loved by either parent. I'm glad you took a step forward to come on this site. We understand physical and emotional pain. You will never

feel alone once you start interacting with others here. Sharing our journey with mental health issues can help make it a learning experience that can benefit you.

I'm happy you are here. We care. :) xx

SadBear2020 profile image
SadBear2020

Hi, I completely feel your pain and abandonment. I’m in a similar boat. My parents divorced over 20 yrs ago. I have a tumultuous relationship with my mom and my father passed away from COVID-19. He was my favorite parent and now he’s gone. Zero support from my mom. So I get it. If you ever want to chat here, I’ll try to share the care, happy to share.

Krismc88 profile image
Krismc88 in reply to SadBear2020

Yeah I speak to my mom maybe 3 times a year and she only talks about herself. She drinks everyday though so shes sick and I just have to know that. My dad was diagnosed with cancer 2 days after we got our stay at home covid quarantine orders and it was only a 7 month fight. I actually spent the most time and got the closet to my family and love from his dying experience. My story is pretty complex and long so I started writing a short autobiography to kinda lay out what the heck happened.

I understand your feeling about the kiddos. Thats tough. Ive never been in your shoes but I have been the hurt child mean to my wonderful beautiful step mom :( I also was really young and dated an older man with a cute sweet boy and now admit i was young and jealous of what i thought was something so special he had with another women. Now im the single mom. My sister has no kids and married a man who his 15 year old just moved in and my sister hates her! Life really is tough sometimes :( Like we have to be robots and keep trying but it just seems to get hard all over agian.

SadBear2020 profile image
SadBear2020 in reply to Krismc88

I’m sorry to hear about your tough relationship with your Mom. I hope she takes care of herself and realizes that she has a daughter that deserves only one thing - LOVE.

Interesting connection with you.. my father was jaundiced back in February while I was visiting my mother when I received the call. He was hospitalized and diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Because he lost the ability to speak from a prior heart attack and several strokes, I never could bring myself to tell him he had cancer. It would have killed him emotionally and spiritually. Then Covid happened and he was in a nursing home. And I was robbed 2 months and 9 days from being able to see him. All nursing homes went on lockdown. He was never able to go into a hospital for a petscan to see how bad his cancer spread nor what stage. It was too risky due to Covid. As a result, I was determined to bring him home and take care of him. In doing so and by the time we found home health care, he came home finally. After he arrived, his doctor called and told us that his test came back COVID-19 positive. With only two days together, he suffered, he aspirated and passed away. My mom wasn’t there for me. Busy living her life with a step dad I don’t respect— so I get it. I truly get both sides. My stepkids just were never warm towards me from the beginning and my husband enables them probably to overcompensate the lack of love from their mother. I have been so kind, so giving and the disrespect I continue to experience while my spouse allows it just isn’t cool anymore.

I just wish everyone just got along. Period. And because the world isn’t built that way, people (kids, parents, spouses) will suffer. It makes no sense. Cheesy as it sounds, in the end love is ALL THAT matters. I wish it were that easy and less complex.

Krismc88 profile image
Krismc88 in reply to SadBear2020

Gosh yeah covid is horrible in so many ways; many people are lucky enough to not experience. It is SO painful when its your loved one you cannot see or get to because the covid restrictions. Seems some people only think about themselves and not the big picture of how our actions can affect many unknown people down the road. My dad was the picture of healthy when he became ill. He was fit, took no medications but allergy and had no medical conditions. Covid now has my sister and step mom complete split up while other people i know dont even think its real! It sure has been a crazy time in our country.

Yeah the kid situation is super tricky. I think step parents and that situation is such a complex difficult one. I know with my sisters husband and my sister had a vasectomy reversal and is trying for kids. She is age 35 and her husband probable 45. He had the vasectomy for over ten years which makes odds less likely. So shes unable to have kids of her own and raising his child that gives her a horrible time. Apparently shes completely happy and normal but wont do school work and then throws the suicide card to gain control. Thats atleast some of what I get from my sister.

I love, "I just wish everyone just got along. Period. And because the world isn’t built that way, people (kids, parents, spouses) will suffer. It makes no sense. Cheesy as it sounds, in the end love is ALL THAT matters. I wish it were that easy and less complex"

How old are your step children? Are they boys or girls? I bet they really do love you a lot but a lot of mean angry people are just hurt themselves. Of course a husband should always have the wifes back 100 percent cause you are adults and these are children.

aw im so sad for you thinking about your situation more. Hows your health? I know for me I focus on exercise, meditation, walks and started a ton of hobbies that I had no confidence to do so but I do them. You might have to put all that pain aside and focus on YOU.

SadBear2020 profile image
SadBear2020

The one kid I have the most issues (and vice versa) is 20. Dropped out of college and lives home like a bum. She lives for Tik Tok and other BS like that. Her damn room is like a filthy pig pen and is an overall rude, self entitled miss bossy pants. Whenever I go out and see these teenagers working hard at Target or the supermarket I hate that she takes advantage of her father and disrespect her even moreso. Hasn’t worked a day in her life. When I was 16, I had 3 jobs and by age 20 I helped pay for my tuition, enrolled for 18 credits while earning a 3.8GPA. This one has gourmet meals made for by my husband and never does anything g around the house. And G-d forbid if something is not organic - watch out for some attitude! Directly after my dad passed away at our house, she was more concerned that she had no freedom to go out with her friends and that, she would catch the virus WHILE I WAS MOURNING. I’ll stop here, as my hands tremble when I recall so many incidents like this with her. At the end of the day, I blame the parents not her. A parent has to establish boundaries or else one becomes a floor mat. But again, my husband is a big bag of love and he overcompensates for the lack of a mother in his daughters life. I feel like such an outsider in my own married life. I don’t believe in divorce but won’t settle for abuse either. And I want a kid of my own❣️

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