I've had enough of what is going on in my family. I've always felt like an outsider. They raised me excessively religiously, which traumatized me. I wasn't aware of the damages it caused until 3-4 years ago, when I started to break away from this toxic community. But all my family members are part of that community, my parents are the leaders, I'm the only one here who refused to be part of it any more. I feel abandoned, that they don't care about me. I told them about my depression in the past few weeks, and that I'm in real danger, crisis, because of my sympoms. I arrived home 2 days ago. They did not ask a thing about this. They didn't show any interest about my hardships. I'm sitting in my room and no one bothers to come to me, to show some interest. This abandonement is really choking me here. 
feeling abandoned and like an outside... - Anxiety and Depre...
feeling abandoned and like an outsider in my family
I fully understand where you are coming from here you need to believe you are worth so very much have you got just one friend to jang out with at all?💖💜
Yes, I have really precious friends, I love them. They help me a lot. Still it's intense
I fully understand though I am so glad to hear you have really good mates the good ones are hard to come by and absolutely precious when they stick by no matter what 💖💜🎄 hoping you guys had an awesome Christmas and your feeling a bit better
I fully understand your plight, I live in Northern Ireland, and lived throughout the "Troubles" my first name is catholic in origin, [taig], my parents, my mother English, were presbyterians [prods], I have been tormented all my life about this! My health has ALWAYS been bad. A brother and sister were 'converted' but now I am a survivor, an outsider, ignored by general society, I went a separate way, became an agnostic, my parents were big enough to realise I was serious in my belief, I wrote a long letter about my beliefs, and arguments for my case, presenting it to them, forty years ago, I recently went through Humanism, but after a month realised that was not my belief! Actually I have terminal epilepsy, from July 2021, but now my personal belief is stronger and more complete, rewritten my will, etc, quite happy in that respect! I have an high IQ, and love a bit of Theology meditation at night, and those boring spiritualists that try to convert me, they 'haunt' this particular area, asking what 'Church' do you belong [in reality they are actually counting the amount of new conversions they have made 🙄], its pretty strong in this area I have lived in all my life, usually ignoring me going to the other side of the street [or I can bore the heads off them with well researched historical facts! [I am a retired historian] ] A good sign for more people of Northern Ireland are adopting the Middle road approach👍 I have never had the good health to be able to move from this area, always with my back to the wall, I now have PC🙄to fight against now, but officially told "caught early", and now being officially retired maybe I can move from here🤞
Good luck in your FIGHT!👍
I fully understand and feel you. It can cause serious damages in mental health feel you. My mental health is similar as yours, feeling that it's Always been bad. the bases of it are wounded. But it's encouraging to hear similar stories with good outcome, thank you!
Wow sounds like you've been through a lot definitely a tough cookie and its great to hear through everything you've gone through and still going without giving in you've remained positive 😊😊There is nothing boring about teaching new facts or sharing your opinions on life well thats something thats never bored me anyway i could listen for hours maybe a lot of people have just lost a part of thier curiosity? Idk but there is certainly nothing wrong with sharing facts and knowledge ☺️☺️
I too can relate and i am so very very sorry this has happened to you 😞😞 I wouldn't call what you felt jealousy at all what you were feeling is normal its more a mixture of feelings?
Like the frustration is normal, sadness, feeling of betrayal or feeling unworthy (even though you are so awesome and so worthy) all those feelings are normal its just that sometimes its jard to put them all into words so we put them into those categories such as jealousy and resentment.
Being that you are able to tell thats what you were feeling and working through to find a positive outcome just shows your strength be proud of who you are ☺️☺️💜💖💜🎄🎄💐💐
I read a number of years ago that at the time, the majority of people in therapy had come from a religious or fundamentalist background and I wasn't surprised.
I grew up in a evangelical christian household and was constantly pressured to believe the same way and be "born again", I tried but realized it did not fit me or my beliefs. i finally had it out with my mom but it caused estrangement with my two brothers over it which I am ok with since we are so far apart in our beliefs about religion and politics anyway.
I know it's also tough to accept that you will never get the unconditional love and support from your family that you should because they are incapable of it. My suggestion to you is to realize you will likely never get any emotional support from your parents or family nor will you be able to change their beliefs. the best thing you could do is find a place to live elsewhere and learn to validate yourself and improve your relationship with yourself and see if you can find a more supportive community that fits you.
Yes, saying excessively relagious beliefs, things to a children can be too high expectations for them. I learned and admit that my parents wanted good for me with this, they found peace and love in this community, but as an adult it was a different experience for them than As a children, and than a teenanger for me. With my mother we are working now at reconnecting with each other by talking about this different experiences. Surprisingly now She is able to hear me. But it was a long way with a lot of confusion inside me, and often connection isn't succesfull, and these times I feel abandoned again.
I too know that my parents meant well and religion worked for them and a lot of my family but i'm glad now that it didn't for me. I hope you are able to work things out with your mother but don't be surprised if you don't. My mother later in life told me she hoped I wasn't one of those that blamed my parents for my problems, she never did get it or apologize for anything. i know she did the best she could and I had to let it go.
It's hard enough to find out that you don't fit in the community and belief system you were raised with a ton of self-doubt and confusion..and than the reaction of the relatives are also challenging. Still I need to connect somehow at least with my mother. Of course as you say it also depends on her which I cant control. I should accept that theres a limit of acceptance and connection she can give me
I understand and hope you are successful with your mother. You might want to check out youtube videos for: therapy and help for religious trauma, there is more awareness and even therapists specializing in treating it now.
I know it doesn't feel like it at times and is confusing but there is a lot of wisdom in being able to see the bigger picture and the hypocrisy of religion and the darker side of it. So try to validate that in yourself and be proud that you have the ability to think for yourself and walk your own path. Nurture yourself with the unconditional love and compassion you didn't receive.
Also my stepsister just told me that they feel that something is always wrong with me..of course if a whole system (family system) works a different way than I need, I will be a "problematic" thing for them. But we are talking about it, which might be hopeful about reconnection. I hope they will understand me and won't see me as a problematic member, but As someone who reacted normally to a not normal situation for her.
it always amazes me to hear of people who are extremely religious, worshiping a God, any God, praying for peace and compassion, yet can’t find a minute to care about a loved one in need. It would really make me question that particular religion’s beliefs. It just doesn’t align with all the wonderful teachings of loving fellow mankind.
I agree, it's unfortunate that many religions preach "conditional" love and fear of the world and fear of those who don't believe as they do all of which helps cultivate the divisiveness and polarization in so many societies today and in the past.
Just what I wanted to write. These are really dangerous "teachings". A child needs unconditional love and a safe view of the word and relationships. And to feel that they van express what they feel, but it's often not allowed which leaves someone confused and doubting him/herself. Long way to reconnect to oneself again
I agree but it is possible to heal and validate yourself by committing to doing it. There are a lot of free resources available online now to help and educate yourself about it that are helpful even if you work with a therapist.
Btw, I’m not a super religious person but I am a spiritual one who believes in common human decency I.e. do unto others kind of thinking, I know better than to bring up religion here; no offense meant; my bad. Wishing you all the best for some future peace.
I'm definitely not religious either but am a spiritualist and believe in unconditional love for myself, others and all life here on this planet. I understand the dilemma of discussing religion here but the reality is that a lot of us here have been impacted negatively from it which has contributed to our anxiety/depression. For me the real issue I have about any religious discussion is when it veers into any form of proselytizing, which is what I think most people resent.
Thank you for that. And I didn’t want to open mouth, inset foot, then feel the wrath, as I respect everyone’s right to any spiritual beliefs they choose. Just believing that higher power equals must = light and love. 🙏❤️
It can help to see other perspective of spiritualism, not the unhealthy one,thank you
It's Always so encouraging to read that "little" things like talking to a friend that cares and doing things you love helps.
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