I know I have posted about this topic before, but it is just still hindering my life so much when it comes to my career. I feel like the pandemic might be playing a part in this “antisocial” behavior as well, but I have progressively suffered with social anxiety since I was around 12 due to bullying, so it’s definitely the social anxiety.
The thing is, I believe that I’m a very creative person and I have a lot to offer in this business. I have had some success this year as I’ve released 2 songs that have gotten quite a lot of plays on Spotify and YouTube, and have also gotten featured in 2 small magazines, so this is the best year in terms of success, and I am very grateful! However, I want to set myself New Years resolutions, including doing more things such as performing at shows and festivals etc.., but when it comes to meeting up with/hanging out with producers, music video creators, fellow musicians etc.., that scares the sh*t out of me!
Now you’re probably wondering how I was able to have 2 songs and a music video if I’m too scared to network with people? And my answer to you, I am able to produce songs on my laptop and I am very good at it, and I have a video camera at my house so I was able to use that for music videos. I also did all the promotion on my songs, so I do work hard and do a lot myself, but I really want to start collaborating with other people, firstly to just get to know people and build relationships, and secondly it could potentially lead to something bigger. But I’m a terrified of doing that, because in the past, I’ve had people be very patronizing and belittling towards me, since I come across shy and quiet in social situations so they’ve acted like they could push me around and bully me, and that’s unfortunately led me to where I am right now. Also, even though I’m shy when I’m in social situations, I become very confident when I’m on stage and that’s where I feel the most comfortable... but I get people that meet me off stage and will ask things like “how can you sing like that on a stage when you’re so shy?” Or “You’re so outgoing onstage, why can’t you be the same offstage?” And it just frustrates the hell outta me, like how am I supposed to answer that? I don’t know. Ugh.
But it is really stopping me from reaching my full potential and it’s really affecting my life, both personally and career-wise. Also because I find it hard to get close to people, I really want to make friends and connections in the industry but I always feel like I can’t and I’m not good enough. I always feel like they’ll be smarter than me and know more about the industry than me. So yes, I want to release music and build an audience, but I want to conquer this so I can make my dreams come true, as I do find myself sometimes fantasizing about living a good life, but it’s all in my head and not real, so I want to make it real by working on myself!
A Social Anxiety Success 
Social anxiety and depression
Anxiety over social media
Didn't Outgrow Social Anxiety?
Social Anxiety 
