Desperate

[Mammamia2]

Hi. I'm new to this site. I only just joined today. I am so desperate. I'm a single mam to 3 severely autistic and non verbal boys, all teenagers. I have struggled with depression for over 20 years. I'm having a really severe surge of it now. I am living only for my boys who are my life. I have given up on myself. I cry most days, sleep as often as I can and get so overwhelmed with the constant pressures and appointments for my boys. I know I'm not really making much sense, I find it hard to concentrate. Basically I want to be better for my boys sake. No amount of medication is helping me at all. I have no self worth, hate myself most of the time. I just don't know where to turn anymore.

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A very good support site for autism or parents of autism children is myautismteam.com if want can join

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You need time for yourself - have you carers or friends that can help with your boys for a while - so that you can concentrate on yourself for some time

[_Alex_]

Welcome to the site. Wish I could offer something more helpful than that. Your situation sounds so difficult.

[FlexibleSoulWanderer]

I'm struggling to find self worth as well. One thing that's been helping me recently is setting extremely tiny goals, like "im going to work for only 5 minutes this morning and no more until the afternoon" or "I'm only going to read one paragraph of this email and then come back to it later". I think you can definitely achieve these!

[Mammamia2 in reply to FlexibleSoulWanderer]

I would love to achieve these tiny goals but right now my illness has taken over me completely and I don't know how to stop it from doing so. I've been trying self help books and I just can't concentrate for long enough

[Jeff1943]

What an amazing woman you are, Mammamia. Your time is devoted to your 3 autistic sons and as a result your are experiencing nervous exhaustion. Who wouldn't in your shoes? Clearly you are one tough and highly capable lady so don't tell me you have no self worth and hate yourself. Walk tall, be proud, you deserve to do so.

You need help and assistance in your task which is clearly and understandably causing you much stress and anxiety. To ask the obvious: are there no relatives, parents or grandparents, who you could prevail upon to take on the three boys for half a day to give you a break. Or maybe talk to the local Citizens Advice as I feel sure they will know of ways to bring you help or respite. There must be an Autism Association that could give you some idea of the help available. Yes, I would start with them.

I well understand how you feel burnt out but I want you to know you are a heroine for what you are doing so no more talk if low self esteem or hating yourself, you are far too good for that.

[kvolm2016]

Welcome! Sorry to hear that you are in such an exhausted and overwhelmed state at the moment. Not surprising though since you are investing so much time and energy into your family. Since it sounds like you are interacting with other outside agencies or service providers for your boys, can you ask them to recommend support services for yourself? As you know, your physical and emotional health have to be a priority in order for you to continue to care for your family!