What do you talk to your therapist about?

[Starrlight]

Sometimes I don’t know what to talk about and social anxiety comes into play.

[formidible]

I felt that way this week and cancelled my therapy session, but today have been regretting it. But that's ok. I think you have to try and identify what's causing your underlying issues and maybe write down a few things. We are not depressed and anxious without reason, and, although there is no magic wand, having the courage to talk about painful issues is half the battle. Even if you're drawing a blank that week, just say that to your therapist that and that you think you' maybe experiencing social anxiety in the sessions. Just be honest with he/she. It's your therapists job to help and support you with whatever arises.

[Starrlight in reply to formidible]

Hi Formidible!!! Yes good to just be straight with them. And write things down, yes. She called and I forgot to tell her about social anxiety but some really important ideas arose and I was able to do good work with her. How are you today?

[formidible in reply to Starrlight]

Good for you. I've had a pretty miserable day today. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better though.

[Starrlight in reply to formidible]

Blessings to you... I bet tomorrow will be better.

[EJ7215]

There are times where there is nothing I want to talk about. When that happens I just kind of talk about what happened each day during the week. Even if it's something small like video chatting with a friend, that I cooked something new or tried to find a new interest. I know it helps me avoid getting anxious or stressed during the session. Most of the time my therapist will start asking follow up questions and ties it back to something we discussed in a previous session.

[Starrlight in reply to EJ7215]

Nice thank you for sharing that.

[hlacovara]

I always have "ready" (usually just whatever is bothering me that day and day before ECT) a list of things I want to bring up so she can explain them to me. I usually start with ok so here is what in dealing with at the moment and then tell her w.e . it is. Last week it was o.c.d. and how it is stopping me from completing my projects.

She is very good at listening to me, I usually describe everything to the most critical detail lol. She then picks out whatever is important and goes from there.

If I could have an app every week or even several times a week I would bc I feel it is that beneficial. It usually a 25 min call and I talk the whole time.

Anything no matter how small or maybe embarrassing ECT is worth bringing up if it is something that bothers you or keeps you from doing well.

Sometimes if I'm having an especially hard time, I write out a lost of things to have ready so if in not in a good mood or have a hard time remembering I just refer to the list.

Usually for me if I begin with the small things it will lead to other issues that are more significant because as you go over these things they ask you the appropriate questions leading to more being uncovered.

[Starrlight in reply to hlacovara]

I ended up having a great insightful session. It just developed out of small things like you say.

[sophie4]

If social anxiety comes into play when you talk to YOUR therapist, the red flags pop up!!!! WWWAAAYYY UP!!! Starr, if you're experiencing social anxiety while you're with your therapist, has this been addressed in your therapeutic sessions??From my perspective, it seems that this should be a major topic of discussion w/your therapist.

I think it's very understandable and natural for any client/all clients? to have trouble figuring out what they feel comfortable or what they don't feel comfortable sharing with their therapist. The therapist should be able to alleviate at least some of your anxiety so that he/she can facilitate a conversation about social anxiety...for example. It all depends on the therapist's orientation and training. By orientation I mean what 'school' of therapy does your therapist practice? Personally, I don't think the therapy should reflect only one or two 'schools' of therapy, rather the therapist needs to be well versed and familiar with many therapeutic modalities in order to use ...can't think of the work...in order to take one aspect of a theory from one school and use it and use another from another modality as needed. Most importantly, the therapist needs to use him/herself in the context of the therapeutic relationship...not abide strictly to one particular method.

I believe that in order for any type of therapy to be successful, a therapeutic relationship needs to be developed and nurtured between the therapist and the client. The therapist must work hard to earn the trust of the client, don't you think?

In order for therapy to work (using any modality) there must be a strong connection between the therapist and client as human beings. I find that it's rare to connect with a therapist just the way it's rare to find a truly loyal friend who you can trust who is unconditionally accepting within the friendship...better yet, unconditionally accepting as a component of the person's personal philosophy. Social anxiety or not, I think it's really rare to find a 'real' friend. Same within the relationship between the therapist and client.

I believe the therapist needs to be willing to work from his/her soul, not exclusively following the theories in a school of therapy...like psychoanalytic, behavioral, etc. If the therapist is following a recipe of any type of therapy, I don't think it can possibly work.

There's something else...sometimes, I think, the chairs in the therapy room are not on equal standing...like the floor is higher in one point of the room and lower in the other (guess who is sitting in the chair that's higher?). there needs to be equality within the relationship between therapist and the individual hopefully receiving help.

Anyhow...just my immediate and random thoughts.

Gee, I think I went off on a tangent and didn't address your question, "What do you talk to your therapist about?" What I wrote were just my immediate unedited thoughts.

Be well, dear Starrlight, and be safe.

[Starrlight in reply to sophie4]

Awesome response Sophie! I looooove my therapist and I trust her. I don’t know if she uses any or all of the types but she definitely works from her soul and intuition. I will tell her my feelings about getting anxious before talking to her... once we get talking there’s lots of progress and healing going on.