Why can't I get over the guy who broke up with me?

[Shadowofme]

I was dating a guy (sadly I've posted about him before) and he was great. Everything was going great or so I thought it was. However, I felt him starting to try and pull away. Like he was drastically different but he wasn't my usual happy blonde guy that I had grown to enjoy having out with. He became my best friend.

Charing topic a little bit

I struggle with anxiety and depression and because of that I push people away because I feel like they will be better off without me. I told this to the guy on like our second date and he said he understood. Because of personal reason's I had to come off my medication that helps me with my anxiety and the depression. And I told the guy and he said we would get though it together. Because I told him that I will probably try and push him away but that he just needed to ignore me when I tried because I did not want to push him away. I liked having him in my life. And so things were still good.

So I felt myself getting better and thought I could help him how he helped me. Well apparently that back fired. The more I tried to be there for him the more he pushed me away. And my anxiety and depression can not handle the uncertainty and I just wanted to help him.

Okay so bringing me to my ultimate question. He said that no matter what happened (before he ended things) he wanted me to stay in his life as a friend. He said he did not want to lose me. He asked if we could still be friends. So he ended things and I said that I would alway be his friend. I said I would like him to stay in my life also. Well my question is when he asked to be my friend did he mean it? Like he told me how important I was to him and that he needed my friendship.

So fast forward. I try and snap chat him (because that's how I communicate with lots of my friends) and he ignores them. He opens them days later and does not respond. So I am not stupid but I am so bad at relationships, therefore I am wondering if he was he just saying he wanted to be my friend? Like am I silly for believing that he actually meant what he said about being my friend. I know I need to let him go but am I allowed to ask if he meant it when he asked to still be friends. I just don't want to be desperate. I just want to know. Am I just being oblivious to all the signs he is giving me?

Someone please help.

[langedechu]

hello, sorry to hear about him. this response is going to be a little shorter than my usual and I'm sorry. obviously, I can't read his mind but he might just want a lowkey relationship. although I do think that him ignoring your snaps is kind of shitty. depending on if you already did this, I think that you should tell him how you're feeling and that you want to understand what he meant more. then he might explain. if he ignores that as well i'd only say to take a break. he might be trying to understand this whole thing himself, and everyone has their own time period that they need to get through a breakup. be patient with him. best of luck x

[Shadowofme in reply to langedechu]

Thank you I appreciate your reply and thank you for providing your insight you. And I will try that. Thanks again

[langedechu in reply to Shadowofme]

always

[Reading_Rando]

Even as a guy who has been in the position of wanting to change a romantic relationship into a non-romantic one (more than once), I can't really say. What I can tell you is that if the desire to do that is mutual then things usually work out fairly well. If the desire isn't mutual (as it seems to be in your case) then I'd say it depends on if the other person realisitically beleives that they can actually still be friends with you without being uncomfortable.

If he seems very uncomfortable with you, then he might just be saying you could be friends that to make himself feel better about breaking up with you. If that's the case then he's either not being honest with you, himself, or neither. It seems kind of cowardly, but some guys hate examining their own feelings so much that any intrusion into their actual emotional world is perceived as a threat. I feel like I'm spitballing here but I hope things work out for you.