An All-Time Low

[LonelyGirl24]

I haven't been here in a while because the virus outbreak caused me to return home for a while, and I was happy being in a familiar environment, especially with my baby brother around to keep me up. I got a boyfriend (a longstanding friend), and didn't have to worry about all the expenses of bills and all. Lately, however, I've been feeling so bad that I could just lie on the floor for hours. I either eat everything in sight or throw up at the thought of food. I just feel like I haven't been breathing. The same four walls that initially gave me comfort makes me feel claustrophobic. I suppose it's not just my room, it's my entire life. I'm studying in some MBBS program abroad. I'm in my second year but I really want to leave for several reasons, I'm trying to get a transfer but that doesn't look promising. I just couldnt afford regular tuition. On top of that, I don't really want to do medicine if I don't end up doing surgery but I have no one who really understands or supports me except for my boyfriend. My mother refuses to hear any talk of anything about me switching schools even though I have been telling her for years that this isn't really what I want and that I won't be happy in the long run. We don't get along and aside from my siblings I have no other relatives or people to help me. I just feel so lost. My heart physically aches. I know this was long, I just didn't know what else to do.

[kvolm2016]

Glad you are here to talk it out and get some support! I'm sorry that things have flipped from comforting to anxious/depressing. I think most of us had no idea that this pandemic life would continue to drag on so long. So like you said, initially it was fine but now that it has been reality for this long it is increasingly challenging! Are there any coping strategies that you use for the anxiety/depression that seem to help?

Are you under pressure to stick with the MBBS program because that is what your mom/family wants you to do with your life?