The last straw

[CalicoPurpl90]

I finally feel like I reached the last straw with my friend. I did give him some space. After about a month I decided to text him today to ask him how his Thanksgiving went. A few hours later still no response. I know everyone gets busy and he might be out of town right now for all I know, but it was a combination of things that set me off about it. Awhile back I asked him to call me and he didn't. He texted me something on my birthday but I feel that it was more out of politeness and because I texted him something earlier. I asked him to call me then and he didn't. No response. Now a month later I send him a casual message and still nothing. That is when I sent him another message indicating that I am only trying to be his friend but it seems like he's not interested or something. I also indicated to him that I am an adult and can handle honesty and to take care after that. I contemplated just leaving him alone and not saying anything, I hadn't reached out to him in a little while, but I don't appreciate being brushed off and ignored and I am not ok with someone ignoring me with the hopes I will "get the message" and just leave them alone. I have known him for more than a year and I am not just some random chick he knows. I would never treat someone like this myself and I find it extremely frustrating how some men behave like this. If you have something to say to me, just say it. Be honest and communicate with me. Don't just ignore me with the intention being I will "get a clue" and leave you alone. I was really hoping to salvage this friendship, but my friends actions are giving me enough reason to suspect that he's not interested anymore. I was starting to like him a little bit, maybe he picked up on that when we met in person awhile back and felt he wasn't able to deal with that, I'm not sure. I am forming connections with some of my new coworkers. Hopefully I can form new friendships with people that will be better at communicating with me and will be less flaky and forgetful.

[Kat_21]

Hi, so I have a story.I had a friend who I had been friends with for about 3 years. We went to school together, and only met briefly before I moved to another county. We stopped talking then reconnected after I left my controling ex.

So, we had been friends for 3 years. I even called him my sons uncle at one point because we were so close. Him and his girlfriend broke up for a while due to her not taking their relationship seriously and I told him my opinion trying to save him from heartbreak again.

They got back together, and had a beautiful baby shortly after. I guess it's because of what I said when they weren't together, or maybe he just has other things going on, but he stopped talking to me as well. He was my only friend, and this really hurt me.

I know how it is, but all you can do is try to have a connection. If they don't reach out or respond, then it's best not to dwell on it. That's what I've learned at least.

However, I hope your situation does get better. It hurts when you lose someone close without knowing exactly why.

Best wishes.

[FriendlyDude]

There could be other things going on. Perhaps his device broke. Or the battery is dead (like, dead dead). You never know. Sometimes people just need time. Sometimes people do just stop being friends too. You’ve done your part, you’ve sent messages, it’s up to him now where he’ll take it. You can’t force someone to be friends. And Thanksgiving was yesterday 😂, just wait it out, give him some time and see where it goes. I hope whatever’s going on gets resolved I wish you the best!

[Hidden]

You sound like a good friend, and I’m sorry that he does not understand how important reciprocation is in a friendship. People like this will make you question your worth, but in reality he probably has his own insecurities where he doesn’t feel brave or responsible enough to be straight up with you.. however that’s not your fault.

[CalicoPurpl90]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the responses. I considered just leaving him alone, but his actions were kind of hurting my feelings and I really wanted to let him know how I felt. I wanted to do that politely and subtly as I am not the type to go off on someone especially when I don't know what's going on. I didn't do anything wrong, so most likely whatever is going on with him has more to do with him than it does with me. He is not in a relationship or dating anyone right now, no kids, so there are not those extra confounding variables. I have OCD and recognized that I was allowing myself to become a little obsessed with my current relationship with him. I was not texting and calling him obsessively, I just found myself thinking about him a lot, more than I wanted to. I still have a crush on him and feel attracted to him, but I care more about being a good friend to him as I recognize that I would not want more than that with him as I don't feel we are compatible in that way. Maybe he will come around eventually, but in the meantime I am not going to dwell on it.