With everything going on in the world right now, I know my problems are petty and childish, but they're on my mind, and I am afraid if I don't get them out I'll have an emotional explosion. I have three main ones and they're long so I just broke them up. I know I know...excessive, but I got nothing else to do. Enjoy!
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Problem #2- FAMILY
I love my family. I consider myself a die hard family person. When I went through a bad situation with some friends, I realized that even when friendships fail...family stays. But that was before I knew some things about my family. Secrets my parents had tried to protect me from as long as they could.
My uncle is an alcoholic.
He has been for many many years.
And I had no idea.
Thinking back, I can explain some of his weird behaviors as effects of being drunk, like he would be very affectionate at times...which is so abnormal for him. I never saw him cuddle his own children, let alone us nieces and nephews. And then holidays we would spend elsewhere or an aunt or uncle not in attendance, all explained by family fights directly related to his alcoholism.
I've learned that my grandmother tries to deny his problem, as does his children and his wife.
They just want to ignore it. My parents, aunt and uncle want him called out for his problem and want him to get help. My grandma considers that a betrayal and has chosen my alcoholic uncle and his family over her other children and their families. That has caused many fights...all of which lead to someone other than my grandma apologizing. My mom says that eventual forgiveness has been because of us kids...my parents, aunt and uncle haven't wanted their children to lose out on a relationship with their grandma.
I only learned of my uncle's problem around 2-3 years ago, when my parents couldn't hide it anymore. My mom told me casually. I hadn't realized the impact of what she was telling me until after the conversation happened. She felt like she had to tell me because things had just gotten really bad. They were bad for a while but eventually things eased down for a while, and everything was fine. But things aren't fine for my family.
We're stuck in the middle of a family fight, much quieter than regular fights but still there nonetheless. My aunt and her family and my other uncle and his family refuse to come to family gatherings because my uncle is drunk at them more often than not. My cousins refused to speak to my mom for almost a month because they were angry about something that didn't happen. My other aunt is still hot and cold with my mom about something. It's been off and on fighting for months.
And my mom got very talkative one day and told me things that I honestly wish she wouldn't have. I know I needed to know them...but they have changed the way I view people and I am so sad by that. I have always felt like my grandmother loved all of us equally. I have always felt like we were close. I'm not sure anymore. My mom told me all the times that my grandma chose my alcoholic uncle's kids over me and my brother. She said "If the rest of us except (uncle name here)'s family moved away, I think she would be content." I swear as dramatic as it sounds...my heart broken. Shattered was the last little bit I had on my amazing family and for my grandmother...who was my role model. Things are different now...I don't look at my family the same way again. And that is really hard on me.
And to get an idea of how bad things are family wise, on halloween we went to a small family gathering, just me, my mom, and my grandpa (he was scared to go without us which I think is so sad), and before we walked in my mom said "If fighting starts happening, we're leaving." THAT is what we have to think about before walking in to gather with our freaking family. Fighting didn't happen but what about next time?
What about Thanksgiving? 3/4s of my family don't want to gather together because of my uncle. We are still in contact and still hang out with the aunt and uncle who don't attend family gatherings, but how do we have a Thanksgiving? If we invite the entire family, more than half won't show. If we don't host Thanksgiving, my uncle and his family will get upset at us. So, we will have to endure a Thanksgiving with only part of our family. With my uncle who will more than likely be drunk.
Happy Thanksgiving! 
Please help. This is a nightmare 
Help what I do with my cat?
