Fed up and depressed further

[SSMA]

Hi all, I have been through so many ups and downs for the last 16 years am so tired. I am literally fed up of everything that's been thrown at me. Anxiety, over thinking and depression are just eating and gnawing at my head and heart. Therapy and being with doctors and everything is going on. This page gives me solace but even coming here has become a hectic task. I can't make sure that I can trust myself to get here. I am angry. Things are so stuck. I feel unheard. I feel silenced. I feel angry. I feel scared. I am upset. Most of all I feel lonely. I feel so alone. I feel bad. I am guilty. I am no longer suicidal. I just wish something happens and I no longer exist. I don't know what to do. I don't know if any of you all feel that you aren't suicidal but don't want to exist anymore.

[Tara52]

Yes, I have felt that way many times. After what I have been thru & studied & researched, I am thankful I did not take my life! You think things are bad now? Suicide makes it so much more eternal worse for you. It is NOT an escape hatch out of your pain. It makes it 100X worse!! Once you wake up on the other side, everything you feel now is magnified and doesn't leave you. At least now you can work thru it and you must! Many do & have, like me. We are in this world to overcome our difficulties. No it's not easy but it is possible with Divine help. Keep seeking solutions thru a spiritual path and you will find your way. I never found solutions with meds and psychologists. Each of us have to find our own way, if you don't give up, you will find deliverance out of the hell you are in. It is worth it. Hang in there and pray!!

[SSMA in reply to Tara52]

Hi. I am trying to pray and leave it to divine. I don't have any suicidal thoughts... Because that's still effort from my side. I am feeling beyond it. Waiting for things to happen badly. I just am waiting for it to pass if it will. Don't think it will. It's just so hard

[Tara52 in reply to SSMA]

It will pass if you think it will. You decide.✌🙏💟

[Shivedita]

Please vent out everything that you have inside of yourself here or to whomsoever you want. Take your time to heal. You will get through all this!

This dilemma I can explain. Life is precious, so you can't commit suicide but it is not passing through a good phase, existence is not valuable and interesting. This happens. You take your time, it will pass.

[newmercies]

Hi there. Im sorry you are feeling this way. I struggle with anxiety and depression too. I know its hard.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. When struggling with depression everything seems so hard and impossible. I have felt that way where I just want the dark feelings to be over. I have struggled on and off with depression for over 20 years. I have been on medication and have had therapy too. What really worked was prayer and the support of a healthy life coach. She helped me remember that life is precious, I can feel better, I don't have to live depressed, I can become aware of what I need in life, let go of the past, change my thoughts and behavior to avoid depression.

Part of depression is the chemical imbalance which medication can help with, but the other part is what we think and focus on. If we focus on negative things about ourselves than that is what we believe. But if we try to focus on positive things about ourselves than that is what we believe. I still catch myself feeling overwhelmed at times because I forget to give myself a break and not live that moment. I know it is easier said than done. But the more you practice living in the moment and positive self-talk the more it becomes a part of your life and you reduce or stop the negative thoughts.

Two methods I learned that have helped me remain focused on what is good in my life and with myself are 557 deep breathing and my gratitude journal. The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thought. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[SSMA in reply to lovetodance2018]

You are a kind soul. May you be blessed. Thank you for the technique.

[lovetodance2018]

Just wanted to check and see how you are doing. I have been praying for you. Hugs

[SSMA in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you so much. I was way too disturbed mentally to even come on to the platform. It's bad. But your prayers helped I guess. I feel better today. Thank you.

[Musicever]

I feel the same...unheard from manyyy people but to don't care as long as they don't do mean actions to me!