Fed up -girl with endometriosis

[Afrohair]

I’ve suffered with endometriosis almost a year now I’ve barley had any support from doctors and have had to push to be seen by anyone and even got a private opinion I’m no closer to being seen after all this time and my symptoms are worse .I can’t afford private surgery and the whole thing is getting me down.even if I have surgery it will grow back and there is no cure it affects my fertility and can grow outside of my body and attach to other organs .I’m lucky I have a child(is what people will say)but my partner is longing for another baby I have been longing but I feel so ill and sick ! I just want to get on with my life but I can’t do anything I love dancing or anything physical I can’t do I can’t take my kids to a theme park as I can’t ride with them or do any of those things I’m only 34 and young at heart was always bubbly outgoing and looked after myself people would envy me now I feel like no one and ugly I went to opticians other day they said my right eye is going I’ve to wear my glasses permanently what else will happen for me I lost a baby last year cause of this condition I have to use a trolley to carry my shopping now I’ve past caring about that now but I used to have a good job and be glamorous with lots of friends and walk with a handbag I’m just ranting on here my feelings to let it all out

[benbt]

Sounds difficult. Have you found anything that helps with the pain? Are you at work or is it too difficult with the pain? If so you could volunteer

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

I do work but I’ve had to cut my hours right down and every day is different so I don’t know how I’ll be one day to the next ive tried a few options but only thing helping at minute is a diet that helps stop inflammation in your body I also have coeidine when it’s really bad just feel like I’m another person don’t feel like me anymore which is frustrating everyone always saying how I’ve changed since I’ve been poorly which is true and I can’t do nothing about it it’s frustrating cause I want to be someone else feel like I don’t have a life any more

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Sounds like you are trying to fight who you currently are. I have found meditation and therapy has helped me accept that my life is not the same as it used to be.

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

I just want to feel well again I can’t do things I used to when I’m poorly I can’t go back to that till I have my operation which is going to take 9 month just for my referral and in that time my condition is worsening I really don’t want to accept this cause I don’t like what I’m living right now I do have a lot to be grateful and practice mindfulness but I just feel like I miss out on a lot like socialising for someone who was very sociable before and I can’t drink any more not that I was an alcoholic but even a glass of wine make me more ill

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Sounds like you are experiencing some grief. I found a helpful definition of grief: “coming to terms with a reality you don’t want”. Is it possible you could socialise in a different way? Could you go out for a tea/coffee instead of drinking alcohol. That’s good you feel you have a lot to feel grateful for.

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

I can barley go out at all cause of pain physical activity makes it worse but I do sometimes.ive never drink alcohol in that way I’ve always been sensible just I can’t even have one now I used to go out have a Dance chat and so forth always being the bubbly one who everyone wanted to talk to I’m already a professional dancer well was and I can’t do it now without killing myself literally it’s took a lot from my life people thing I’ve just turned boring as I don’t explain I’m sick it’s not right for me to be sick there not used to even thinking that off me they know a different version of me

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Life is sometimes just shit. I was doing well at university and had an active social life. Then my mum was diagnosed with cancer and my whole life was turned upside down. Anxiety and depression became dehabilitating at times. But I can’t turn back the clock. So I have just had to find ways to adapt. The whole process has made me much more resilient. Death and illness can be a blessing in disguise.

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

So sorry about your mum mine has vascular dementia so I can’t speak to her she’s 52

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Sorry to hear about your mum too. Dementia is difficult. I work in a home with residents with dementia, so can really empathise with your situation

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

Just seems I’ve done things right all my life why do bad things happen when you’ve done nothing wrong?x

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Oh yes it’s hard. Can you imagine anyone who doesn’t experience bad things. At some point we will all experience grief and our own death. X

[benbt in reply to benbt]

We can’t escape from suffering...

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

Yes true.how did your driving test go?i found hypnotherapy worked for me. im having a better day today x

[benbt in reply to Afrohair]

Thanks. I didn’t pass it. But only got three minors. So hopeful about next test

[Afrohair in reply to benbt]

Ok that’s good are you in the u.k I thought 5 minors was the limit good luck with that x